If I leave here tomorrow

I'll never understand why it seems that in our most confused sleep deprived states, we can have our deepest moments of clarity and soul searching. I think it may have to do with the fact that it's more of our subconscious thinking than our conscious mind allowing us to not be hindered by our inhibitions or fears. How's that for some deep thoughts?

I dunno why but I've been digging on Freebird lately. Maybe it's the words or maybe it was a past life as a hippy. I'm not sure though. If I had a choice back in the day between being a hippy or a slacker 'greaser' / biker type it'd be tough. I think those thoughts were generated by watching a Back to the Future marathon last weekend.

Sat and Sun (Yesterday and the day before) I spent random hours sleeping and my sleep schedule is pretty screwed right now. Had a disturbing nightmare though on Sunday morning / afternoon where I was being attacked by a cross of the wraith prison guard things from Harry Potter and the riders from Lord of the Rings. It was pretty disturbing. Black shadowy figures with bright white faces.. well not really faces but circles in the hood with bright light. Basically I would stand in a room then suddenly it would get really dark and I'd squint and not be able to see anything. Then the creature would appear and would get really bright and I'd feel this pressure on my chest. Haruka was in the dream to and I remember asking her if it was dark but she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. It was pretty stressful and I so didn't wake up rested. Meh.. for all I know the pressure on my chest was a cat sleeping on my chest... what.. its a big cat..

At least after work today I'll finally get the tire on my car fixed. Got alot of stuff I need to do. Clean the apartment. Get caught up on my credit cards.. well at least get the process of getting that 'set up' and cleaned up. That's gonna suck.

Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd

Sometimes the original is best

So much better than the US remake..



My Sassy Girl (Korean)

Shuffle Mode for the lose...

Azumi's defending my playlist...

(From my myspace)

So thanks to Ben for putting up a bulletin that I thought I'd repost because I was also bored.

After going through this however I find that I am greatly embarrassed by some of my music but whatever.. that's why they invented the 'next' button on an mp3 player right?

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...just type it in man!

If your life were a movie this would be your soundtrack..

Opening Credits: Here With Me - Dido

Waking Up: Scars of Love - TKA

First Day At School: Yellow – Coldplay

Falling In Love: Deliver Me – Sarah Brightman

Losing Virginity: Comfortable – John Mayer

Fight Song: Opening Mandlebrot – Blue Man Group

Breaking Up: Help – Bananarma (remake) (Wow.. I don’t know what to say about that.)

Prom: Butterfly – Tori Amos

Life: Bumblebee - Aqua (Wtf on the category and the song)

Mental Breakdown: Forgotten – Linkin Park

Driving: Don’t Leave Home - Dido

Flashback: If You Really Wanna Party With Me – Busta Rhymes

Getting Back Together: The Fragile – NIN (HAHAHAHAHA)

Wedding: Cosmos – Tatu (Maybe if life were an anime?)

Birth of Child: Ride With Me – Nelly

Final Battle: Penny Lane – The Beatles

Death Scene: Come Into My Dreams - Foggy

Funeral Song: Sweet – Inner Circle (Wow.. everyone would have to be high at my funeral running around saying YAH MON!)

End Credits: Everything - Lifehouse

A Journey

Heheh.. classic..

Return of the Jedi.. kinda

So I'm back on my feet after the pneumonia owned me for two weeks.

Thanks to Haruka for putting together the Birthday festivities last weekend at Dick's Last Resort... yeah I'm lazy look it up if you want to know bout it.

Been thrown back into work while it lasts. May be on permanent vacation from this company soon which could be both good and bad. I know one thing's for sure, if and when I get laid off I need to take some time to walk the Earth.. "What you mean walk the Earth? You know.. like Kane from Kung-Fu". Yes.

Sad news.. singingfish.com is no more. Seems like the bastards at AOL decided they didn't want people downloading free videos and mp3s anymore. The nerve of some people... so now I'm checking out http://www.seekasong.com/. Not sure if it's good or not yet.

Write more later.. gotta work. But yeah.. I'm alive and all that.

Oh also.. I feel out of need, next year for my birthday I'm going native and hiding in the jungles of Thailand with the mountain people... hot.

- D -

Well damn

Went to the ER over the weekend and they gave me antibiotics because apparently my dumbass has penumonia again... awesome. Doesn't seem to be working though so I think tomorrow (when I wake up today on wed) my sis is gonna take me back to the hospital for a wtf type of visit.

Well.. for what it's worth..

And no Joan, I did not break the dog. =)

wha?

Yeah no posts past couple of days. I've had the sickness and have felt like death. Still recovering but feel I should actually go to work more than one day this week. Meh.. it's gonna suck tomorrow (friday).

Also looks like I now work for The Blackstone Group.. at least until they lay people off. Lets hope it doesn't effect the corporate office in Chicago because hell if I'll be able to find another company dumb enough to pay me what I'm getting now eh? Then again.. I guess it's not that dumb considering they work me like an imported railroad worker...

Roll with the changes (a chat log)

Haha...

[11:27] gilae: ogilvie for christs sake
[11:27] lakota: oh
[11:27] lakota: well you said northwest
[11:27] lakota: that confooosed me
[11:27] gilae: that's what it used to be called
[11:27] gilae: and a lot of people still call it that
[11:27] lakota: pfft
[11:27] gilae: omg are you from chicago or wtf
[11:27] lakota: lol
[11:27] lakota: i change with the times
[11:27] lakota: i dont hold on to old names!
[11:28] lakota: if they started calling it the ass tower instead of the sears tower
[11:28] lakota: you damn right ill be sayin lets go to the ass tower
[11:28] gilae: lol

No idea what I was going to post

Wow.. was at work last night and they turned off the lights because everyone went home.... bastards.

I need to do some free writing and get a couple new things down on paper. Was thinking of a story going off the X-Files having it 20+ years after the end of the show... might continue the Angels vs Demons story.. dunno what I feel like doing right now. Need a muse to make it easier. Yes. Haven't gone on a photo shoot in awhile but well.. it's cold out.

Random thoughts since I got my headphones on and trying to get all this crap done at work.

I grew up watching hella sci fi.. Battlestar Galactica, Buck Rogers, Star Trek, Dr.Who etc.. now I've gotten older, and oddly most of the shows have been remade and I'm still watching. I find I often like newer techie things vs older classic things, but there's a time and a place for everything. Like an old castle from back in the day? Cool. Not having a flat screen tv and air conditioning in it? Not cool. Excalibur? Cool. Freakin Lightsaber? Cooler.

Damn.. there's stuff I wanted to write about but I can't think right now.. I'll have to try again later.

The Beatles - Help

Hmm then again I think I liked the Monkees more growing up hehe.

Kinda I Want To

Listening to nin at work always makes me reminisce.. ah, good times.. or was I just to dumb when I was younger to know better?

On the upside new nin albums comes out this month. Last time I went to a nin concert it was just.. weird. It was exactly the same crowd of people but they didn't age and I did, least that's what it felt like. Whatever though, I still can appreciate Trent Reznor.

Sigh. Bored. Tired of working. There's a special joy in coffee black. It would worry me one day if I had to map out all my random trains of thought.

In the frigid weather of Chicago.. you can appreciate one thing over all other things warmth

NIN - A Warm Place

So lucky...

People are damn lucky I don't have superpowers. I can see it now..

Super Hero Name: Shin Lakota
Special Moves: Multi-Task Barrage / Instant Message..of death / Eternal Sleepless Assault!
Weakness: Hawtness
Most like: Naruto with Goku's power

But yeah... work is driving me nucking futs... sigh.

- D -
---

Information Society - Can't Slow Down

My heart is a drum that’s pounding.
My mind is a note that’s sounding.
Let the choir sing your praises.
I’ll state my case in four-note phrases.

Can I get a witness to my rate?
Will anyone quantify my fate?
While I’ve been waiting for you,
Lives I’ve been creating for you.

I can’t slow down.
Like a river I’m flowing on and on.
Some way, somehow.
I will find out where I am going.
Someday.

The meaning of life is to attack.
There’s a special joy in coffee black.
When I see the red, the black, the green,
I’m seeing the color of my dreams.

My song is a tree that’s hollow.
My mantra is I must follow
Where those hooded eyes are leading.
I cannot be stopped for speeding.

I can’t slow down.
Like a river, I’m flowing on and on.
Some way, some how.
I will find out where I am going.
I can’t slow down.
Like a river, I’m flowing on and on.
Some way, some how.
I will find where I am going.
Someday.

More than meets the eye

Oh baby.

When I was younger a good friend of mine... we'll call him Data, used to say to people 'Personal problems don't impress me'. I used to thing that was one of the most brilliant things ever. Now that I'm older and ha, wiser, I think more importantly I'd like to tell people.. 'Impress Me' and non chalantly wave my hand dismissing them to await the results of their efforts. Elitest? Na. Delusions of grandiuer? Of course not. Freaking hilarious in my own mind? You damn right.

- D -

It's anime/game theme song day (www.singingfish.com for the win! - Singing fish has both the jp and english versions to some of the following songs).

Two Mix - Rhythm Emotion(Gundam Wing)

Go!!1 (Naruto OP 4)

Kung Fu Generation - Rewrite (Full Metal Alchemist)

Rie Fu - Life Is Like a Boat (Bleach - Closing Theme 1)

Koda Kumi - Real Emotion (Final Fantasy X-2)

Utada Hikaru - Simple and Clean (Kingdom Hearts)

Yoko Kanno/Origa - Inner Universe (Ghost In The Shell SAC 1)

Youko Takahashi - Cruel Angel Thesis (Evangelion Main Theme)

Okino Shuntaro - Cloud Age Symphony (Last Exile)

Continuum

Been rocking the Court Square hoody this week. Past couple of days been into John Mayer which is odd for me as he's definitely not a female vocalist. I think I just appreciate that it's chill.

Money money money. Money sucks. Everybody wants it, but wouldn't the world be so much simpler if we got rid of currency altogether? If we removed money and religion out of the equation, there would be far less violence in the world. Then the only other major thing you have to worry about is crimes of passion/stupidity/human nature.

I have an adopted sister I've never met. I guess she's 17 now. Interesting. Not sure if I'd want to meet her. Would be a bit awkward especially if I was like.. hey your parents (my 'dad' and step-monster) both suck. Yeah. Good times.

Not seeing most of my friends on a daily basis like before is probably one of the big reasons I'm enjoying playing Warcraft online with them again. It's kinda like hanging out still, cept well not the same.

I miss being a kid where all I had to worry about was where I could get money to go to the arcade with or for the next game of Q-Zar and how to avoid getting speeding tickets.

I haven't travelled in awhile, used to go somewhere at least once a year. Miss that. Road trips with a group is always fun, miss that to, but it's only good if everyone in the group gets along.

- D -

Though, I've been listening to Daughters alot more lately. Biological clock? pfft. Don't know. But maybe.

"Girls become lovers that turn into mothers so mothers be good to your daughters to."

John Mayer - No Such Thing

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible
As long as I'm alive

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above

I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for

Anchored

I was sitting at work when I got some new email on my yahoo account. Some random people had some friend requests for myspace. It's interesting that myspace actually has a ranking system based on how many friends you have. I don't understand why exactly that's important.

Quality over quantity.

Why do people feel the need to have a connection with others? Because it's that connection that holds us to this Earth. Without connections to other people and live human contact you would probably stop being yourself. If our actions define who we are, what happens when no one else is there to witness any of your actions? Sure you'd still have a sense of self, but would you have a sense of being and a feeling of accomplishment or contentment? I should go interview a hobbit. I mean a hermit. Yes.

- D -

PS Happy Birthdya to Koopa who fell off the face of the planet. At least he's probably happy though :)

Hard Day's Night

It's been a hard day's night.. at yes, I've been working like a dog. bark. bark. Someone give me a treat or at least a new tasty chew toy that squeaks? Ok thanks.

Not much to say really. Been playing World of Warcraft again. Sure it's fun and a nice escape but when I log off there's still all the same problems and demons waiting to start throwing another rave in my mind. Boo.

This song has been in my head all day today. Thankfully I was able to download it from singingfish.com , which is usually what I do when a song I don't already have in my head plays in my head. It brings back alot of memories and a couple of lessons I've learned in my lifetime. Here's two semi amusing ones I learned when I was younger.

1. If you're asking a girl out for a date for the very first time and it's a movie, make sure it's not some ultra violent film like 'Natural Born Killers'.

2. Regardless of how cool it is that you go to the arcade with your girlfriend and that she can beat people at fighting games, it is not suggested to get upset with her, play her and subsequently get a 'flawless victory' without breaking a sweat eliciting comments of 'oh damn' from the big crowd that is watching. Heh.. good times. ( Though it is sad that nowadays all gaming is done from the comfort of your home. I miss going to arcades and putting up your quarter or token to indicate next up).

I was supposed to go to Toronto for training at the end of this month but that's been cancelled since there's to much stuff to do. I can't just be out of the office for that long right now. There are three follow up session that I can go to. One is in Cali, another is in Chicago, the last in Boston. Yeah.. I'm pushing for Cali or Boston. Course.. this could all change in a couple weeks when the company I work for gets bought out by whoever they decided to sell to. I don't so much want to be 'liquidated' in any sense of the word actually.

Ah well.. all we can do is move forward, keep trying, and trying to not forget to breathe.

- D -

Oh wait wait I forgot I like posting random pictures of things now.. To celebrate the return of Battlestar this Sunday...

Local time eh?

Birthday Wishes to Nong Soi.. though I'm not sure if that's the right name since you're a whole month older than me nyah :)

Like the side of the pike

I hate when my coffee tastes like coffee grounds and hot water! .. hehe.

No that's not what we use at work.. but it's funny because it's Sanka!

Oh and note.. beware if you do a yahoo or google search on just 'Sanka'.

I hate when my coffee tastes like ground coffee and hot water! .. hehe.

Just damn.

See title...

"The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few, or the one."

Dream a little dream

So.. my sleep schedule has been screwed the past couple of days. I've been going to sleep somewhere between 5 and 7pm and waking up between 2 and 4am. Yeah.. that would be great if I were talking to people overseas all the time or something, but that's rare :P

So anyway, I had these two dreams that bothered or annoyed me. First was just one that was me being at work someone saying I was late, then me waking up trying to figure out what the hell time it was. After a couple of minutes I figured out that whole am, pm thing. No big deal there but man, that sucks when you dream about work only to wake up to have to actually go to work. Boo.

The second dream was odd. It was about an friend of mine from high school I haven't seen or talked to since. I dunno how but I was at her house and I'm not sure if we aged or still looked like we were in high school but the conversation went something to the effect of.. "Where have you been?" "I've been here the whole time." (Which was accompanied by a look of, you dumbass).

To top that off.. I grabbed a newspaper this morning and was reading through it while waiting for my train to get to the station (which turned out to be running 55 minutes late) and I checked out my horoscope.. get this.. "Aquarius - You could be lost in daydreams about someone. Venus is increasing your tendency to get lost in fantasy. You're thinking about what could have been or should have been. Remember you'll still have to deal with reality at some point."

Seriously.. someone needs to be kicked in the face.

- D -

Video killed the radio star

This is pretty great. Someone made a list of almost *all* the videos on youtube. A couple of the videos have been removed but most work.

HERE

- D -

pew pew master chief

Altitude warning. Descent rate to high.

“You think?” I yelled back into my helmet

I looked down to see the ground charging at me faster and faster. It’s funny the way the mind thinks in a situation like that. Here I was hurtling towards the ground and I had thought I was the stationary object with something coming at me. Tucking my arms back and keeping my legs straight I leaned my body to try and aim for the lake I had seen earlier. Power diving, I was on course but my speed had also increased. Reaching for my grenade belt I prepared to try something that you should only try when your options are death, and probable death. I had four grenades with me and set them all to detonate on impact. The exosuit I was wearing was heavily shielded and armored which in theory should protect me from the grenade detonation. Flipping myself over while falling, I strapped the grenades under my feet and began to fall straight down feet first. It could have been an amusement park ride in another situation but for me this was not an ideal moment. Crossing my arms and keeping my head straight I got ready for impact.

“Lavi can I get a countdown please”

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.. impact

The moment the grenades touched the water they exploded breaking the stillness of the surface while changing my momentum. Warning alarms blaring in my helmet I felt the water envelop me quickly. I clawed at the water trying to swim but realizing that the exosuit prevented me to swim any better than a rock wearing flippers. I waited till I settled on the bottom of the lake maybe five meters from the surface. My legs were wobbly when I touched solid ground but they were still attached to my body and I was still alive. I walked a few meters until I came to the shore. The enemy knew we were here and they would be looking for survivors.

“Lavi, activate sonic nullifier and active camouflage”

Sonic nullifier and active camouflage systems activated.

The nullifier would hide my life signs from any active scans and the active camouflage would take care of anyone visually scanning the area. I was slowly going into shock from everything that just happened.

“Lavi, open communications with the rest of the squad and locate”

Unable to fulfill request. Planet side communications are being disrupted by unknown forces. Squad member beacons not active.

This was bad, either the beacons were being jammed or the other guys didn’t survive the fall. I had made it into the tree line when my legs finally gave out… okay maybe I’ll rest for a few minutes.

It’s been over 48 hours since our drop pod was shot down. Upon weapons impact, the pod began to disintegrate and the last time I saw my comrades everyone was free falling in different directions. We all had on our combat exosuits which for the most part should have absorbed the force of impact on the ground but from the altitude we were at the chances were slim.

“Lavi, has there been any word from the Tichon about reinforcements or extraction?”

Negative. Satcom is being disrupted by enemy forces. Limited communication is available.

Damn it. It was a textbook recon drop, or at least that’s what we thought on the way down. My squad and I were to gather intelligence on enemy movements and analyze anti air capabilities. Initial reports had indicated a lack of anti air which should allow for a smooth drop. Someone was wrong, and if I get back to HQ, someone is going to meet the wrong side of my Steyer pistol.

Ah lighthouses..

Hmm.. blog's going to be messy for a little bit. Started this whole upgrading thing but well I should be working right now so yeah I'll get to it when I get to it.

Problem with being in the midwest, is you spend some days wanting to be on one coast or another and just not generally being satisfied with where you are.

Probably going to free write some later to. Been itching to put some stuff down. Probably due to the lack of proper well rested sleep.

- D -

No Need For a Title

Two of the biggest hurdles for the year have been passed.. well at least for 2006.

Christmas and New Year's have both come and gone. Uneventful? Dunno. Good or bad? Sure. Whatever.

I've been watching many many episodes of Naruto on youtube as of late. It reminds me that I'm sad I can't go around throwing shuriken at people and being able to be all like.. NINJA VANISH! *poof* but whatever.

Hope everyone had a good holiday and is well and good. I know some people had a rough time. I'll try to think good thoughts for you.

- D -

FTL Drive Failure

Huh.. so I'm still alive kinda hanging on, I'm stubborn like that. Haven't had much time for much lately. All I live and breathe it seems is work. I need a vacation. Seriously. Work along with a combination of other things has just kicked my ass all round. Last weekend, I was in bed and I couldn't for the life of me get motivated to get up and face the day (or the evening in my case that day). That's pretty bad when you can't give yourself a reason to even get up.

In a war scenario, if you were on the battlefield.. you couldnt just lay down in the middle of a fight or surrender. You'd have others yelling at you to get up and keep moving, and to keep fighting. But damn man... "even heroes have the right to bleed." I have no delusions that I have a bad or a hard life compared to some others.. I just need to recharge a bit.

On the upside I've been reading a bit more lately. Sure its not the stuffy literature that overly intellectual people like to read.. but whatever it's fun and amusing. I definitely can respect anyone that can write well. I'll be starting the third book of this series when it comes out in paperback in two weeks on a whim I decided to check out an auther I hadn't heard of Elizabeth Moon. The series Vatta's War is freaking great if you like a sci fi military type of thing. I dig that the main character's a girl named Kylara hehe hardass.

Wow.. I need to go catch a train so I can go home and.. yup you guessed it, work. *sigh* Wonder how my review is going to go in uhh January or March I forgot when it is.. whatever.

- D -

Superman - Five for Fighting

Don't be a Hiro?

Ha.

Best conversation.

How you doin?
Ah you know..
Don't be a hero!
Hehehe

Stupid Equity Office selling to Blackstone.. damn.

---

Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight

Go on and close the curtains
All we need is candlelight
You and me and a bottle of wine
Going to hold you tonight

We know I'm going away
How I wish....wish it weren't so
Take this wine & drink with me
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire
And it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
To take me away....it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye
Darling please don't start cry
'Cause girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I......that I could stay
Girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone....

Second Half Life Source Condition Zero

So.. Linden's Second Life has been in the news alot lately and I've been reading about it here and there. I'm trying to figure out the allure and all the attention it's been getting. So the short quick description.. it's like playing the Sims.. but with other people.. and with the chance of making or spending *real* money. Now given I would spend money on MMOs like Final Fantasy Online or Phantasy Star Universe etc.. sure, I'm curious about Second Life, but that doesn't mean I'd want to pay for it.. I mean there's no plot to it.. it's not really even a game, its more.. an advanced chat room or a newer version of Sims. Anyway.. just trying to figure out all that. I do think it would be cool to use to chat with family and friends that are far away though. Watch out instant messaging.. this is going to replace you one day.

- D -

PS. It's Saturday.. and I've been in the office since around 9am. Wow. This is the suck.

What exactly do you mean?

It's funny when you look up lyrics for a song and you're like.. oohhhh is that what they say.. I always thought they were saying I am the sun, and the air, which didn't really fit in with the rest of the chorus.. wow learn something everyday I guess. Shaddup I'm tired.. took a nap after I got home from work yesterday.. woke up at 10:30pm and have been up since then. Makes work more interesting when you can barely focus on how to properly drink coffee from a cup. Yes.

And yeah I've been linking whatever songs are in lyrics to sites you can download my song of the day from because.. I can.

---
The Smiths - How Soon is Now (tatu, Snake River Conspiracy and Love Spit Love are among many bands that do a decent cover of this song)

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Oh, of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

There's a club, if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home, and you cry
And you want to die

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
Well, when exactly do you mean ?
See i've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

Somewhere

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over the Rainbow

This railroad

Jack Johnson - Breakdown

I hope this old train breaks down
Then I could take a walk around
And, see what there is to see
And time is just a melody
All the people in the street
Walk as fast as their feet can take them
I just roam through town
And though my windows got a view
The frame I'm looking through
Seems to have no concern for me now

So for now..

I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown

This engine screams out loud
Saying the beat gonna crawl westbound
So I don't even make a sound
Cause its gonna sting me when I leave this town
And all the people in the street
That I'll never get to meet
These tracks dont bend somehow
And I got no time
That I got to get to
Where I don't need to be

So I
I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I wanna break on down
But I can't stop now
Let me break on down

But you cant stop nothing
If you got no control
Of the thoughts in your mind
That you kept in you know
You dont know nothing
But you dont need to know
The wisdoms in the trees
Not the glass windows
You can't stop wishing
If you dont let go
The things that you find
And you lose and you know
You keep on rolling
Put the moment on hold
The frames too bright
So put the blinds down low

I need this here
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I need this here
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I wanna break on down
But I can't stop now

Freaking November...

Guns N Roses - November Rain

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...
on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my
own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...
on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

Well that wasn't expected

It's the strangest thing. I haven't thought about this movie / story in a long time. Earlier today I was speaking to a friend of mine about it. Sure enough when I got home it was on. Certain stories can have an impact on you or stay with you without you even knowing it. There's many of them out there. Stuff from Shakespeare, Dickens, Hawthorne, whatever. Some things you may have been told to read in school growing up, some you randomly stumble upon. Many things make up the person we are today, all I can say is.. try not to forget about the things that make up the core of your being because in the end, the only one that can be held accountable for your thoughts and actions is yourself.

- D -

What are a couple old stories that I still like that may have influenced me?

The Good Earth by Peal Buck
On the Beach by Nevil Shute
Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
----

Mono - Life in Mono (Ingenue)

The stranger sang a theme
from someone else?s dream
the leaves began to fall
and no one spoke at all
but I can?t seem to recall
when you came along
Ingenue

Ingenue
I just don?t know what to do

The tree-lined avenue
begins to fade from view
drowning past regrets
in tea and cigarettes
but I can?t seem to forget
when you came along
Ingenue

Ingenue
I just don?t know what to do

Ingenue
I just don?t know what to do

Grip

Sometimes I wonder why I just post lyrics instead of ya know.. posting stuff. I guess the general feeling / mood / things can be explained by songs sometimes so maybe I'm just lazy and let people get what they want from the lyrics that I posted. Course some days its just what's on repeat while I'm at work and I figure if this song's in my head then damn let's spread the love hehe.
--

Aerosmith - Amazing

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy
To see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' to walk through the pain
And when I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I tought I could leave
But couldn't get out the door
I was so sick n' tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishing that I would die
(Chorus)
It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
It's amazing
That when the moment arrives
You know you'll be alright
It's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
To the desperate hearts tonight
That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And a how high can you fly with broken wings
Life's a journey - not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings
You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen
To all that righteous talk
I was out on the street
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay alive
(Chorus)
"To all of you people out there
Wherever you are - remember:
The light at the end of the tunnel
May be you - goodnight"

The Goonies R Good Nuff

The Goonies Return.... If you're in the Chicagoland area.. or are able to be while this show runs, be sure to check out Sakura's writing debut.

- D -

Tired

Rie Fu is like the Japanese version of Michelle Branch. It's interesting. She sounds like old Michelle Branch before she joined up with what's her name to form 'The Wreckers (Yeah..good band name there). Check out Rie Fu at Wiki download the song these lyrics go to here (Right click and save as)

Rie Fu - Life is Like a Boat (Bleach Closing Theme)

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who's gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day

dooku de iki o shiteru toomei ni natta mitai
kudayami ni omoe dakedo mekaku shisarete tadake

inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

hito no kokoro wa utsuriyuku mukedashiteku naru
tsuki wa mada atarashii shuuki de mune o tsureteku

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along,
I will follow you, and keep you strong

tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku odayakana hi mo
tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de ume o terashidasu

inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

Unmei no huneoko gi nami wa tsugi kara tsuki e to watashi-tachi o sou kedo
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne, dore mo suteki na tabi ne

The Martyr

For the past couple of days Joan has been in the hospital. I'm happy to say today she had her surgery and seems to be recovering just fine.

- D -

PS This song has nothing to do with the news about Joan, I just heard it on the radio the other day and really dig it.

---

Blue October - Hate Me

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

Drink one for..

Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu! to Haruka for yesterday (celebrating this Saturday)

and

Maligayang kaarawan sa iyo! to Donovan today!

The stars can suck it

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)(Aquarius)

If you are seeking inspiration right now, look to the sources of frustration in your life. It might sound counterintuitive, but the stars say that's the right idea. The things that are rubbing you the wrong way are doing so for a very good reason. Discover that reason, and you will find a solution to a growing problem. Fresh ideas are grown out of stale situations, so as soon as you mix things up a bit, a whole new world will open up to you.
--

There's something to be said to working to MC Chris's Fett's Vette on repeat. Mind numbing yet amusing. Donovan was in town over the weekend so we had to gather some of the troops who were in town to go to his fav piano bar. Hmm.. that doesn't really sound right but yeah it's a piano bar and it's pretty fun and oddly filled with a plethora of bachelorette parties.

Some people at work recently got laid off.. though they got severance and got their stock cashed out. That's pretty huge for some people since stock was at the highest it's been in a long time. This one guy who's in his mid 30s can pretty much retire or at least take a couple of years off. Damn.. lucky ass. I think at this point if they offered me 6 months paid I would take the package even without the stocks just so it would force me to either A) Move away from Chicago and/or B) Find a different job that pays well that I enjoy.

Don't feel like writing right now.

Later,

- D -

Damn.. it's October already.

What do you mean it's a game?

http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/72320,CST-NWS-donaldson26.article

WTF.

Being a gamer I can't stand it when people blame crimes on games, rap music, tv and movies. I mean seriously, how can a parent honestly say... yes poor Billy was seduced by the power of Playstation and committed all these crimes. Kids will be kids and are going to play games, listen to music and watch whatever. It should be the responsibility of the freakin parent to make sure their kids aren't out of touch with reality and know the difference of what's right and what's wrong. People need to stop trying to find an excuse for why they've failed as parents and STEP UP!

Grr.

Next thing you know it'll be Christmas

This year's going by a bit to fast for my taste.

---

Seether (Featuring Amy Lee) - Broken

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

[x2]
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

Am I my brutha's keeper

I miss my older cousin from when I was younger.. he was like an older brother to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm lucky to have my older sister eventhough we've had our disagreements here and there, I think just growing up in a house where it was primarily just my mom and my sister, I lacked or missed the older male influence or something. So on the weekends or whatever I would spend at my father's place, I'd hang with my cousin who taught me how to race and introduced me to things that I would only come to appreciate more the closer I got to his age (He was in his early twenties when I was in my early teens). That probably heavily influences why the majority of my male friends were all older than me when I was in highschool and why I try to take on an older brother type of role with some of my closer younger friends. I know how it was to be at a certain age and just not have someone that I could rely on for certain things so I don't want them to go through that themselves.. but hey they're all older now to so it's all good I guess.

I've grown up around drama. I'm starting to understand why the asian channels on cable are comprised of four categories. 1. Martial Aarts. 2. Anime. 3. Cars. 4. Drama. Seriously..

I think I approach life wrong sometimes and have my priorities and responsibilities in the wrong order, but they're in a constant stat of flux so I can't be sure of that. I think its because my father came from money and my mom didn't. So I had a mixed upbringing consisting that can be summed up like... frozen fish sticks vs filet mignon. It leaves me with an understanding of the need to save money but having expensive tastes... it's kind of a wash then.

Best IM Chat today
--
[10:28] B16: finally i can wear my t-shirt that says "tengo un coche grande" and be proud.
[10:30] Lakota214: damn at first i translated that to tengo un coochie grande
[10:30] B16: lol, no
[10:30] B16: i have a big car
--

Long lyrics today. On a sidenote I think it's great how the game Dead or Alive 4 users two Aerosmith songs in it. I mean cmon.. Aermosmith + hot ninja girls and explosions? = WINNER!

To Nong Mee, hope everything went well with your mum's surgery.

-----

Aerosmith - Dream On

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until a dream come true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On

Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away.....

Songs on repeat today

Coldplay - Yellow
Cascada - Everytime We Touch (Slow Version)
Bust a Groove (Kitty N's Song)
Stone Sour - Bother
Fort Minor - Where'd You Go
Stabbing Westward - Save Yourself
Gary Jules - Mad World

Wow.. and after a friend of mine pointed on the date and the upcoming month I suppose in an ironic twist Greenday - Wake Me Up When September Ends will be back on the list as well.
---

Bust a Groove (Kitty N's Song)- partial

I will never, ever run away.
I just can't live without you now,
I'll be here to fight another day,
Gonna see you blink no matter how.
I will never, ever run away,
I'll be here to fight another day.
I will make you realize,
I'll always be right by your side.
Now our love is sanctified,
I'm here to Bust A Groove.

Managing Production

Yes, I'm still alive. Amusingly it took me a couple of tries to log onto blogspot since I haven't posted in awhile.. awesome.

So since the last post which was over a month ago now.. what key things of importance have happened.. hell I have no clue I barely remember last week.

I don't really have anything witty to write about right now and I don't want to say certain things are highlites because I think if I wrote down what I thought was a highlite in life right now, it would probably depress me.

The new place is going pretty good. Still need to unpack and buy a dining room table for ya know.. the dining room. Of course the first room that was up and functional would be the living room with the TV and the primary home computer. Go figure. I need to get some stuff updated for my car and payoff some tickets. I think right now if I parked my car in certain places it would probably get booted. Doh. But hey I take the train to and from work everyday so I just haven't thought of taking care of all that yet. That and it's money sooo yeah that can wait a little.

Summer is pretty much officially over so no more halfday Fridays from work every other Friday, not that I really got to take advantage of that but that's fine. Glad there's no more heat waves though. I'll take winter over summer any day. What can I say I was born in February and raised in the Midwest.

Yeah so there's a little rambling to appease the masses for now or at least the handful of people who read this. I'll try to write something with substance when I can just haven't really.. been with it lately. Damn. I miss days of playing Lazer Tag and giving out free games of mini-golf hehe.

Journey to find the Def Leppard completed

Well. Damn. Had this long post up and then I got owned by blogspot and lost it.. awesome.

Recap. Concert was great, epic for some of us ok just one of us that went but still. Always remember where you park.. driving in the right direction is a good idea and if you're planning on meeting someone at a concert.. plan ahead instead of trying to call eachother on cell phones over the music.. yes.

----
This song has been keeping me awake.. Im freakin tired right now

Bust A Groove - Kitty N's song (excerpt)

I will never, ever run away,
I'll be here to fight another day.
I will make you realize,
I'll always be right by your side.
Now our love is sanctified,
I'm here to Bust A Groove.

Pirate Orgasm. What?

Been awhile.. my bad.

So what's been going on lately... today I start the new position at work. It's unfortunate that technology like the Matrix does not exist and I can't just 'jack in' and download all the needed information. Instead it's like going back to school complete with private tutor (the guy I'm replacing), and even schoolbooks (Big ol books on IT stuff). It should proove to be a challenge but hey.. that's what makes it fun right? And I'm not complaining about the much needed additional income. Hopefully I won't be disappointed when I see my first check in two weeks.

The weekend was pretty good cept it was FREAKING HOT. The sublet unfortunately didn't come with some things I've gotten used to having like.. a microwave.. all my stuff.. oh and AIR CONDITIONING.. I swear it's tropical up in there.. I just need some coconuts growing from a tree, some sand, oh and maybe I'll get an inflatable pool I can put in the living room. Hmm possibly going to have to suck it up and buy new ac units now though I was going to wait until after the move to the new place on August 1.

So PandaThug and uhh.. hmm.. the hell did I name him.. we'll keep with the animal theme with these two and I call the other one Bulldog pretty much spent the weekend in the tropics at my place. Late Saturday night.. PT says... I wanna drink! (which he's been doing alot of lately). So we pile into the car (Hachi to), and go buy some alcohol. Now.. I feel it was because we recently saw Pirates of the Carribean 2.. so we got a bottle of rum. PT was determined to finish the bottle when we got home... and between him, Bdog and myself.. yeah.. prettiest empty bottle ever. Lemme tell you.. not a fan of drinking when there's no ac. Sure I'm spoiled or whatever but damn.. I'll take a cold winter day over a blistering sunny day anytime. But yeah somewhere along the line of consuming said rum, I think I invented a new drink. Captain Morgan Rum and cream or baileys or something of the sort.. hence the drunken comment of Pirate Orgasm! (which I would so call the shot if it wasn't nasty).

Other than that hmm.. hi to everyone / anyone that still reads this thing.. Donovan is a punk slacker that I haven't heard from in awhile. People are oddly finding me and hitting me up on myspace. Some people I'm like whoa.. some I'm like wtf? while some I'm just like.. wow.. you're still alive? damn.

I'll be randomly on chat during the day until the end of August. I think I might be sharing an area with the guy training me or something so I won't really be on though I'll probably have Yahoo chat on, on my blackberry.

Wish Hachi good luck today she has a job interview. That would be good. Yes. Hahahaha... Def Lepard concert Wed night.. yeah don't ask.

Ok.. going to get down in it with this new job. Have a meeting in 30 minutes.. breathe.. breathe.. ok..

Later,

- D -

------

No lyrics right now because though I have a song for the day in my head.. I can't think of the name of the song or the band because I'm sleep depreviated as ususal. I blame the heat this time though.

We do what we can...

Friend of mine is going through some tough times.. I know.. who isn't right? But hey.. if anyone that reads this can throw in, that'd be great and it would be appreciated...

http://ketrinapettry.brinkster.net/about.htm

Thanks,

- D -

Oh give me a hooome where the Asians can rooooam

You know what I have to say to that? Muay Thai.. but shorter.

So.. Hachi and I found a place. Yay!

It's a little more expensive thant he current place. Boo.

It's two blocks from Downtown Evanston and the Metra. (Commuter rail train to get to work in Chicago). Yay!

It's not available until August 1. Boo.

It has a working wood burning fireplace. Yay!

We gotta be out of our place by July 1. Boo.

It's getting new countertops and a new dishwasher. Yay!

I won't be living in 'Chicago' anymore. Boo.

I could legally own a handgun in Evanston. Muhaha. I mean Yay!


Yeah there's pros and cons to it. I'm not sure which outweigh which but after apartment hopping for the past uhh 4+ years, I've gotten used to the drill and each place has definitely gotten progressivly better than the last. I know I definitely like the place. I was telling Hachi, when it's nice out and the windows are open.. all that would be missing would be the sound of the ocean outside... she said she'd get me a CD... awesome.

I'm sleepy will post more later when I'm awake. Stupid work.

A willful stray cat

No posts as of late. Busy with work and trying to find a new apartment. Also the pc at home was dead for a bit. It was recently hit with the Hachi.c virus which is Haruka's new name hehehehe.

So PThug has been into these Asian dramas lately and some of them are actually pretty good.

These are two that I really have liked;

Nana. This is based off a manga and also has an anime series I'd want to watch. Mika Nakashima and Yuna Ito have joined the list of some of my fav jpop artists;

Aya Ueto
Ayumi Hamasaki
Anna Tsuchiya

Now if I could only stop being a slacker and learn how to speak Japanese huh? Awesome.

Oh right and the other one is a Korean flick called My Sassy Girl. Regardless of the name, the movie is pretty funny and cute in that chick flick kind of way.

Right.. back to work and apartment hunting.

Oh... check out this flick on youtube. I need to learn how to play an instrument. I'm still learning towards classical piano or blues/jazz style clarinet or both one day. Now if I could just win the lottery so I could devote time to things I want to do.. yes.

Canon Rock Twin Guitar version.

- D -

Movie quote from Nana: (From subtitles of course)

"You're like a willful stray cat. Full of pride and freedom. Bearing wounds that can't be healed."

Cellos ftw!

The concert rocked last night. Opening for Imogen Heap was this Celloist, Zoe Keating... They were both FREAKING AMAZING... go check out their music on myspace if you haven't already. Zoe is like.. a one woman orchestra / band. Good stuff.

- D -

Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek

Where are we? what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just began to fall
crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling
spin me around again and rub my eyes
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines?
all those years they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasue moments hung before
the takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still alive

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines? oh, you won't catch me around here
blood and tears they were here first

mm what you say
oh that you only meant well, well of course you did
mm what you say
mm that it's all for the best, of course it is
mm what you say
that IT'S JUST what we need, you decided this
mm what you say
what did she say?

ransom notes keep falling at your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no i don't believe you
you don't care a bit you don't care a bit

you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit

Rocketboom has the best links

Wow.. thanks to Rocketboom for supplying yet another link that keeps me and my coworkers entertained and non productive for hours!

Be sure to check out Bombay TV when you get a chance. Make your own subtitles for these cheesy ass movies.. ohmigod it's great.

I'd post links to some that I did earlier today but without knowing the people they are referring to.. it's just not as funny.

Damn I need to start being productive.. more later.

- D -

What the flock?

Sawadee krup,

Yeah haven't posted since I got back from Cali. Sorry bout that, been a little busy with some stuff. Soooo let's see where to start. Past couple of days it seems the theme is Angels.. or Angels vs Demons. I seem to be surrounded by books and games that will coming out shortly involving them and Panda Thug recently insisted that I continue writing a story I had started involving Angels and a war on Earth that was kinda neat.

Book(s) you MUST read if you haven't yet. Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment. It's ridiculously good and is book.. 1 well.. 2 if you want to be technical, in this series by James Patterson. He's the same guy who wrote the stuff that turned into the movies Kiss the Children and Along Came a Spider. The book is more of an experience it seems like. It's interactive along with a blog that has entries by characters from the book, there's a soundtrack.. yes.. a soundtrack.., and they have a freakin myspace page hehehe I guess nowadays.. (who doesn't?), and they also have a site that claims to have seen the kids.. yeah you gotta dive into it to understand. I'm stoked to get started on the second book 'School's Out Forever' that Haruka picked up for me. I was debating buying it now since it's still in hardcover having just come out yesterday but woot! I don't have to worry bout that now since she bought it for me hehe. So yeah.. dive into this series.. it's dope. The WB.. recently announced they were going to make a movie out of it.. wow.. I hope that doesn't suck ass.

In an oddly related way.. there's a girl who sings on the book's soundtrack. Holly Brook. She's really good.. kind of sounds like alot of different singers.. in one.. so I guess that makes her unique? She also is featured in Fort Minor's song Where'd You Go?. Fort Minor is the side project of Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park so yeah.. I dig em.

Oh the other Angel related thing is this game I'm looking forward to trying when it comes out called Aion. Click on that to check out the IGN review from E3. It was originally made for Asia only so hopefully it'll release here in the near future.

Hmm highlite from the Cali trip, Haruka and I stayed in the heart of Japantown, San Francisco at the Miyako Hotel. Yeah. Try saying that 3x fast. If you're around San Fran at all, I'd definitely say this hotel is nice. The traditional Japanese bath itself makes it worth it. Not a five star but beats the hell out of a Motel 6 hehe.

We also went to the Winchester Mystery House, where yours truly, Ghost Hunter Extraordinare caught an orb in a picture. Spooooky. I'll post the picture when I get the digi cam hooked up and you can decide for yourself if it's dust or a ghost in a house that was built by a lady who believed she was haunted by spirits of those killed by the guns made by the company her husband ran...

I think one of the best things I did while there was play race-kart with Haruka's lil sis. No I don't mean the 16 year old sister... but yeah.. running around a Japanese super market like a jackass with a kid in the child seat of a grocery cart owns.

LA was pretty good. Thanks to Thuganomics and his wife who hosted me and Koopa at his house with a home cooked dinner and everything.. just thinking bout that makes me hungry.. and his house.. just damn. Didn't get into E3 for that long but it's all good. I got to rest and relax which is what I needed more than anything else. Mad thanks to those who hosted and hung with me, apologies to those I didn't get a chance to see this time out. Would have liked to said hi to Darth Co but I'm awesome and left my cell phone with his number in the rental car. Oh.. sidenote bout the rental car. I was way to hype when I got it. I was supposed to get a Jeep Wrangler but the rental company failed.. they asked if I wanted a Pacifica which is FREAKING HUGE.. so when I said no they said.. want a convertible? So here's me crusing down the 405 with the top down... at night. Jeebus.. can I say that having the top down at night is in fact, NOT a good idea.. was damn cold hehe.

Ok.. that's alot to take in not to mention I need some lyrics posted up. Some fun stuff coming up on the next couple of weeks. Got the Imogen Heap concert tomorrow night. Woot. Later.

- D -

---

Fort Minor featuring Holly Brook - Where'd You Go?

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
Doin' anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, and I'm plannin to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Please come back home

Once again

This has become tradition when I go out to Cali it seems.

Normally I'd try to stay semi-respectable when posting something but this time all I can say is.... vacation.. FUCK-YEAH!

See you in a week zzzzzzzzzz :P~~~~~~~~~

- D -

-----

Phantom Planet - California

"California"

We've been on the run
Driving in the sun
Looking out for #1
California here we come
Right back where we started from

Hustlers grab your guns
Your shadow weighs a ton
Driving down the 101
California here we come
Right back where we started from

California!
Here we come!

On the stereo
Listen as we go
Nothing's gonna stop me now
California here we come
Right back where we started from
Pedal to the floor
Thinkin' of the roar
Gotta get us to the show
California here we come
Right back where we started from

California!
Here we come!

Finding Serenity

Hey,

Yeah I haven't been around lately. My bad. Been really busy / stressed out, mostly from work. But whatever I'm not going to let it get to me. I'm still alive and more fortunate than many other people in the world so who am I to complain? To those that have contacted me and have been worried, thanks, it's appreciated but no worries, you know me, I'll figure something out.

So all that aside here's some AMV's that I recently watched and really like. AMVs are Anime Music Videos using everyday songs combined with clipped and edited video footage from both anime and video games. There are some really good ones out there that are very well done and get their point across, especially if you've seen the movie or played the game. Anyway.. I watched these recently and really like them.

Beautiful by James Blunt - Video of Final Fantasy X

Final Fantasy - Spirits Within (Funny)

Yeah... some people have to much time, but hey whatever works for you.

Gotta go grab lunch.. damn you people who read this and have blogs of your own.. update or something.

k thanks,

- D -

Recent Haps

I had some comments about my last post and I apologize for not following up with everyone. The quick answer is a friend of mine is going through some medical stuff right now and it makes me sad and angry that there's nothing I can do about it.. I can't physically hit something or endure something to make her better either.

Sorry to people I haven't had a chance to keep in touch with as of late. Work's been stressing be the hell out and I just needed some time to let things reset. It's still hectic but I feel like shooting myself a little less right now. Did the sensory deprivation tank thing last weekend.. it was.. okay. I did learn that salt water in your eyes stings REALLY BAD. I'm not sure what I was expecting.. something a bit more meaningful and self exploratory I guess. Floating in a sound proof pitch black box in salt water.. I could do that at home if done right and not have to pay for it hehe. I'm pretty sure there are other things that would be more of a stress relieve for me than that. The whole experience did lead to a conversation I had with Haruka about self exploration and personal growth and makes me want to get into some meditation or something like that.

In more recent news, I just decided I'm going to go on vacation for a week in two weeks. Going to jet off to LA for E3. I'll be hanging with Koopa so it should be cool. Might be able to hook with Darth for lunch or something while I'm there to. Leaving outta here Tuesday night on the 9th, going to LA until the 12th, leaving there and flying to SF and meeting up with Haruka there then we'll both fly back on the 17th. From a money standpoint, probably not the smartest thing for me to do right now but ya know what.. there's no way to pay back debt if you're FREAKING INSANE. Sooo.. yeah.... West Coast? YES PLEASE.

Also during the hustle of today's breakdowns at work I was browsing through an old friend's website.. least I think she was a friend.. dunno.. but anyway, she did have something on there that I liked which was a section of unsent letters to people she's known in her lifetime and refferred to it as her doing some mental cleaning. Yeah.. maybe I'll have to write some letters of my own. Going through a mental mailing list right now.. and yeah I'd need ALOT of stamps if those letters were ever sent.

Within the last week or so.. another.. friend? ...hit me up on myspace which is amusing considering myspace isn't under my real name or anything associated with my past. But whatever, she hit me up and I was like.. hey, and we correspond here and there and I'm amazed by the places/countries she's lived in so far during her lifetime and I'm just like.. wow.. why haven't I done that and just packed up and left? It did bring back alot of memories talking to her so I'm not sure how I feel bout all of it yet. Whatever though. You figure that all of your past experiences you've had make you the person you are today so why regret anything?

This picture still makes me laugh.



- D -

----

Fall to Pieces - Avril Lavigne

I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

[Chorus:]
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you

You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

[Chorus]

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means

Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything

[Chorus without last line]

[Chorus]

I'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you

The things I cannot change

Bad things happen to good people everyday. It's not something you can be angry about, it's just reality. Course, you can be angry about good things happening to bad people. Eitherway, not much you can do about it.

Try your best.

- D -

-----
Sound of Silence - Emiliana Torrini version

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls."
And whisper'd in the sounds of silence.

Rope burns from hanging on

Nothing, nothing at all to write about. Been to busy / burned out. I'm sure I've done something fun or other lately but damned if I can think of any of it right now. Lots of drama everywhere. Work... yeah.. if I didn't have bills (which I still have to pay), I'd so quit and get out of the corporate world. I kind of like my soul or the thought of still having it, but everday I come to work, I lose another piece of it.

I need to be on a tropical island all Lord of the Flies style for a little bit.. maybe with a couple of items.. but still. Solitude and sensory deprivation. Yes.

I remember a conversation I had with PT about this song.. he's like.. of course I know Sukiyaki, I'm Asian.. well who can argue with that logic?

---
Sukiyaki - Utada Hikaru version

It's all because of you
I'm feeling sad and blue
You went away
Now my life is just a rainy day
I love you so
How much you'll never know
You've gone away and left me lonely

Untouchable memories
Seem to keep haunting me
Of love so true
That once turned all my gray skies blue
But you disappeared
Now my eyes are filled with tears
I wish that you were here with me

Soaked with love all my thoughts of you
Now that you're gone I don't know what to do

If only you were here
You'd wash away my tears
The sun would shine
Once again you'll be mine all mine
But in reality
You and I will never be
Cuz you took your love away from me

If only you were here
You'd wash away my tears
The sun would shine
Once again you'll be mine all mine
But in reality
You and I will never be
Cuz you took your love away from me
Oh baby
You took your love away from me

Days gone by

This morning between meetings and conversations that I had almost 0 interest in being in, I found myself listening to or thinking about old school stuff I used to listen to or watch.

I wonder how many people out there have ever seen the movie.. Rad. Hehe.. yes.. I wasn't a skater growing up, but give me a bike and it was all about the jumping ramps.. and doing tricks that would only lead to pain and bruising. (I was injured less doing that stuff than freaking rollerblading....shut up Donovan).

It's to bad my bro Elvis never reads this blog, he'd appreciate one of the songs I had playing earlier.

- D -

Awesome.. just got back from a meeting and afterwards was talking to a friend of mine and was like.. ever have a conversation or a meeting where you just kinda stare at someone and see their lips moving and not understand a single word coming out of their mouth? Yes... and yes it was in English.

They spinnin they spinnin they spinnin

My sis sent me this link.. I dunno why but I find it very amusing.. probably because it lights up and I'm a product of advertising..

http://www.fugly.com/videos/5015/Pimp_Star.html

haha 12k for a cheap set of those..

- D -

Today's Horrible Scope

"If there's a festering disagreement nobody wants to get into, and it's plaguing one of your relationships, don't let it fester any longer than it has already. A wound has to be cleaned, no matter how painful the process may be, before it can heal. In this case, the cleansing process can only start after you've broached the subject. Bring it out into the light. Give it a little fresh air. You'll be glad you did."

Ha. Ha I say.

I'm going to listen to rock ballads now and pretend that I don't mind working right now.

It's time..

To bring out my beloved jacket! hehe. It's starting to get warm but it's still a bit rainy here. That whole April showers line.. kinda true I suppose. I want to post something witty or something sincere.. but at the same time I'm just like (raise finger here) and not feeling it right now. To much crap to do at work and lack of good sound sleep will do that.

I'll write something um.. with substance later.

- D -

Today's Lyrics

Hmm now I just have to post something in Chinese.. Viet.. Korean.. meh.. to much work.

---

- D -


Endless Sorrow - Ayumi Hamasaki

Tatoeba hitorikiri de
Nani mo mienaku natta to shite
Tatoeba sore demo mada
Mae ni susumou to suru no nara

Koko e kite, kono te wo

Kimi ni moshi tsubasa ga
Hitotsu shika nakutemo
Boku ni moshi tsubasa ga
Hitotsu shika nokotte nakutemo

Tatoeba shinjiru mono
Nani hitotsu naku natta to shite
Tatoeba soko niwa tada
Zetsubou dake ga nokotta nara

Douka kono inori wo

Hane no nai tenshi ga
Afureteru jidai de

Kimi ni moshi tsubasa ga
Nokosarete nakutemo
Boku ni moshi tsubasa ga
Hitotsu demo nokotte iru nara
Issho ni... issho ni...

Alih ca dai.

Puem mai yak ja tum yahn. Yak ja gup bahn bai nun se wuh. Chiphai
qien pasai Thai mai dai. Mai me kai te ja puut gup doi. Mai lou
wah ja tum yeng yai.

Low Battery - Return to Energizer

I need to recharge soon... it's an interesting thing to not only be physically tired but mentally and spiritually at the same time.

Cable and Internet are still out at the apartment. Comcast sucks. Actually I think it's more people I live with in the building suck and they keep unhooking my cable.. dunno... either way I'm going to kick someone in the face if I find out what's causing the issue.

Was thinking of doing this rafting trip with Haruka eventually. She's a die hard rafting fan and me? I like water.. I like snow.. and this looks pretty..



Still haven't done the sen dep tank.. that's annoying but whatever. Annoyed with all this work I have to do.. but if it were easy I guess it wouldn't be called work.

Meh, I'll write more when I'm a bit more revived.

- D -

----

Cascada - Everytime We Touch

(VERSE 1)
I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive

(CHORUS)
'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast,
I want this to last
Need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat slow
I can't let you go
Want you in my life

(music)

(VERSE 2)
Your arms are my castle
Your heart is my sky
They wipe away tears that I cry
The good and the bad times
We've been through them all
You make me rise when I fall

(CHORUS)

Curious

Why can't I be a carefree animated monkey?

Yeah.. that's right.. I'm jealous of the monkey.

And how are you doing?

- D -

---

Jack Johnson - Upside Down

Who's to say
What's impossible
Well they forgot
This world keeps spinning
And with each new day
I can feel a change in everything
And as the surface breaks reflections fade
But in some ways they remain the same
And as my mind begins to spread its wings
There's no stopping curiosity

I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
I don't want this feeling to go away

Who's to say
I can't do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem

I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
This world keeps spinning and there's no time to waste
Well it all keeps spinning spinning round and round and

Upside down
Who's to say what's impossible and can't be found
I don't want this feeling to go away

Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Is this how it's supposed to be
Is this how it's supposed to be

Windy City My Ass

So that's great. Sucks for the people down south who got hit by tornados yesterday, and apparently all that wind and such is still going through Chicago. So while walking across the street to lunch.. FOOMP.. glasses fly off my face and went to where everything that we lose goes.. AWAY. Awesome. Called the place I got em from and said I need replacements.. they say.. wait.. didn't you get these a month ago? My response.. yeah.. it's windy outside. So now -$384 and a week wait later I'll be able to see and not suffer crappy migraines.

I'm starting to think that whole Karma thing is a bunch of BULLSHIT.

----

Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings

The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game

Even though I know - I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold - like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show?
And what do you want?
I want to change
And what have you got, when you feel the same?

Even though I know - I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold - like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son, yeah.
Tell me I'm the chosen one
Jesus was the only son for you

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
And I still believe that I cannot be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a-
Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a-
Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son

[x4]
And I still beleive that I cannot be saved

Mr Ed's got nothin on this..

Was watching my daily dose of Rockeboom and at the end of the show from the 9th they have a link to.. singing horses.. I don't know why but it's damned amusing haha.

- D -

The brighter side to any day

Happiest Birthday Wishes to Emy Lee and Ninja Diva today. It won't be long until these twins take over the world =)



- D -

----

"It's My Birthday" - Tallulah

It's my birthday.. all day
It's my birthday... all day!
It's my birthdayyy all dayyyy...

(Actually I don't know if there's more words than that to the song.
---

Just upon a smile

Maxipriest - Wild World (Cover) (Original - Cat Stevens)

Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you want to start something new
And it's breaking my heart you're leaving
Baby I'm grieving

But if you want to leave take good care
Hope you find a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad
Out there

(Chorus)
Oh baby baby it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh baby baby it's a wild world
I'll always remember you like a child girl

You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breaking my heart in two
Because I never want to see you sad girl
Don't be a bad girl

But if you want to leave take good care
Hope you find a lot of nice friends out there
Just remember there's a lot of bad air
Beware

(Chorus)

You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breaking my heart in two
Because I never want to see you sad girl
Don't be a bad girl

But if you want to leave take good care
Hope you find a lot of nice friends out there
Just remember there's a lot of bad air
Beware

(Chorus)

How are you feeling?

[08:58] Naudia: Mornin
[08:58] Dhavid: hey
[08:58] Naudia: How are ya this morning?
[08:59] Dhavid: i have this analogy about that all morning
[08:59] Dhavid: I feel like a used latex glove that was used in a body cavity search.

Yeah.. I'll be doing the sensory deprivation tank fairly soon. That should be cool and therapeutic at the same time heh.

- D -

A dynamo of silence eh?

From the daily Asian Calendar thingy that Tallulah gave me.

"Every person needs a retreat, a "dynamo" of silence, where he may go fo rthe exclusive purpose of being newly recharged by the Infinite." -- Paramahansa Yogananda

Yeah.. I need a dynamo of silence. I remembered I used to want my own Sensory Deprivation tank. Not in that Michael Jackson way, just because it would be nice to once in awhile shut out everything and force yourself to meditate and face and personal inner demons you may have.

Actually.. I think I'll go look into that..

Ohmigod.. Diva and Emy are going to be how old soon? ... whoa.

- D -

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