Like stepping on a twig

No time to post right now. Trying to catch up with work. I've been out here and there this week. Long story. Song of the day explains most of it.

- D -

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Linkin Park - One Step Closer

I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway

Just like before...

[chours:]
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again

Just like before

Leading Lady

Congrats to Tallulah!

Company member?
The Lead with your own understudy?
Parts that people can't see anyone else in?

You have arrived

- D -

Edward Nigma

If my loyalties were iron beams,
would they bend under tremendous wieght?

If my love were made of light,
would it be a warm glow, or a fiery blaze?

If my dreams turned into nightmares,
would that be an improvement?

If my sadness controlled the weather,
would I need to go build an arc?

If I could focus all of my rage into one word,
what would that one word be?

If I filled a room with my insecurities,
would I need a warehouse?

If I gave a name to all the things I hated,
would it be the name of a person?

If my life is just a series of questions,
what are the answers that are waiting for me?

It's Never Easy

Hell of a weekend.

Doh. Just checked my Lottery numbers. Someone forgot to tell these people that I need to win. Sure I don't meet the criteria of

1. Already Rich
2. Illegal Alien
3. On my deathbed

But I'd still like to win :( Quite honestly though, I know most of my friends know if I ever came into a large sum of money like that, pfft, everyone would be hooked up. Well, cept for those slacker friends that only call when they want something. I guess those people aren't really friends.

Watched a creepy Korean horror flick last night called A Tale of Two Sisters. It's not so much horror as it is a mystery but its creepy nonetheless. Haruka and I at first were like.. wtf is this? But after watching it again with the commentary turned on and looking it up on a couple of sites, turns out the movie was actually pretty deep and worth rewatching. Watched Elektra to. It was.. aight. Not bad, but not ohmigod dis is teh shiznit either. (I try to cater to all levels of grammar and IQ)

So people have asked here and there.. how come you haven't posted about Haruka much as of late? Mainly, I had decided that things between Haruka and I should stay off of this public forum as it would be like the concept of 'kiss and tell'. So... yeah.

The Museum of Science and Industry has a great exhibit going on right now about.. Video Games! Game On goes through the history and culture of video games... whatever, the point is you get to go there and play some video games you grew up on (Bubble Bobble!, Gradius!, Street Fighter!), on all these old systems. One thing that was very disappointing though is that there was no presence of first person shooter games. I understand that older people are.. stupid, and feel that they are to violent and such but let's be honest... If you're going to have a freaking exhibit about VIDEO GAMES, you should at least have a copy of Doom on hand.. Slackers.

The Museum also had an exhibit which I refused to go see called Bodyworlds. I'm all fine for learning about the human body and all that.. but I don't like the fact that this exhibit uses REAL human beings, or at least their bodies that were donated to science. Donated to science.. to me if I donate my body to science, I would hope they would use it to cure some disease or something of that level, not in fact to be displayed in random poses such as, running with a basketball, jumping a hurdle, or shooting a bow and arrow.

Mmmm personal beliefs... good to have em. I highly recommend if you don't have any to pick some up. Personal beliefs are like one of those Neo Pets. You get to raise one from infancy, make sure you feed it with your ideas and efforts, and in the end you get to see if you did a good job raising it or not.

I'm still waiting to hear if I'm going to be able to go to E3 or not. My hookup for tickets is moving slow. Slow like the rate his company pumps out new games... doh.

Hrm.. I should get back to work. It's hella annoying. If i don't do work on the weekends, I'm overworked on the weekdays. I don't think it's supposed to work like that. Australia is looking better everyday.

- D -

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Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm

Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what i choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

Muses and Angels

Most people that know me know I have a thing for songs sung by women. I don't know how many remakes of songs I've liked just because it's sung by a female vocalist. I think there's probably some deeper psychological reasons for this but I probably attribute it most for growing up in a house with just my mom and my sister, and growin up in an Asian family where the emotional displays of affection rival those of a vulcan on prozac. Not really sure if I'm happy I'm using a Star Trek reference there but hey whatever works.

Donovan leaves for school in AZ in August. I'm totally happy for him but of course sad to see him go. Meh, just means I have another place I can jet off to when I need an emergency get away. Just this one would be involving warm weather and hot coeds. Interesting.

Work still is rough. I used the analogy the other day with one of my bosses, "You guys told me to build a house, gave me some wood and some nails but no hammer." He laughed and nodded...

Crap gotta run to a meeting, will post more later.

These are the words that ring in my head with the clear sound of her voice when I'm feeling a little... off. What am I, a teenage girl? DOH!

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Michelle Branch - All You Wanted

I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away

I didn’t know that it was so cold
And you needed someone
To show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the tide comes
I’d take you away

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
Was somebody who cares

I’m sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you’re gone

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
Was somebody who cares

All you wanted was somebody who cares
If you need me you know I’ll be there
Oh, yeah

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
Was somebody who cares

Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you’re gone

Are you kidding me?

Ever wake up and have one of those god awful mornings where you just want to say fuck it and go back to sleep regardless of if people are talking to you or blowing up your phone etc? Yeah..

So last night was cool. Took Tallulah to an audition for a random movie that's being shot in Chi. Auditions were at the University of Chicago and ya know.. I never realized how pimped out that school is. It was like walking into some old school mansion. It kind of makes me sad the whole not having done that going away to college thing when I was a snot nosed punk ( I don't really understand why someone being snot nosed has any bearing on well.. anything). Ah well. Whatever. At least I have a job and I'm getting paid more than most, well some college grads. If I ever get some time to breathe from work I need to get back to going to school.

I need to work on getting a new passport as soon as possible. Sometime before September this year I *WILL* be going to Japan. Why you ask? Because of this! -> 2005 Aichi Expo. When I was growing up among my random dreams of being a jet pilot, or a Jedi, I really wanted to go to a World's Fair. Being that Chicago had one a long long time ago it made me want to go even more. So finding out that they don't really have them anymore when I was a kid made me pretty sad, but then I hear about this and I'm just like.. whoa. So I don't care who goes with me, hell, I'll go myself if I have to but this is going to happen damn it!

Ok. I need to get back to work now. I'm behind on a project or three =(

Also, for those that know me well enough you can tell what kind of day it is by this.
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Stabbing Westward - Save Yourself

I know your life is empty
And you hate to face this world alone
So you're searching for an angel
Someone who can make you whole
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

I know that you've been damaged
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you
I am just as fucked as you
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me

My life has been a nightmare
My soul is fractured to the bone
And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone
I think I'd rather be alone

You can not save me
You can't even save yourself
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
Save yourself
So just save yourself

Recent Flicks

Oh I forgot, I've been watching a bunch of movies lately.

Sin City was pretty damn cool. Long, but overall pretty good.

Last night I saw THE funniest kung fu flick ever. This director Stephen Chow is a genius hehe.. check out Kung Fu Hustle if you get a chance its hilarious yet the fight scenes were pretty badass. He's the same guy who did Shaolin Soccer

As far as Japanese movies goes I recently watched Red Shadow and Azumi. Both of which I liked alot. Red Shadow was funny while Azumi was cool simply cuz I mean cmon.. cute asian girl with a samurai sword.. woot! I also saw Steam Boy, which ya know.. if people don't know you're talking about an anime..that's bad to yell out ," Yeah! tonight I'm gonna go see Steam Boy!"

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Finger Elven - One Thing

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It’s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line

If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something

I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time

Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

From the top to the bottom

Hoy,

So it's been a looooong time since I've posted. My bad for that but work work work and more work. I thought it was supposed to be Work Hard and Play Hard. Not Work Hard and play when you aren't feeling guilty for doing so.. doh!

Let's see what's been going on since last..

Props to Donovan and Kayla. *sniff* He makes me so proud =)

I'm talking to my sister again after a couple years hiatus.. that's going pretty well.

I have absolutely nothing witty or interesting to talk about this late in the day after wrecking my brain on boring IT Corporate stuff so I'll just jump on the bandwagon and fill this out. I blame Tallulah and Donovan.. and Rachy.. yes.

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A - Age you got your first kiss: Uhh..this question makes me feel old. 14 or 15
B - Band listening to right now: Right now its quiet.. it's kind of nice.
C - Crush: I feel I don't need to answer this question.
D - Dad's name: Assh.. er.. Nunthavit
E - Easiest person to talk to: Strangers that don't know you or have any preconcieved opinions of you.
F - Favorite bands at the moment: Varies on my mood. Linkin Park/Stabbing Westward. Dido. Random techno / ravey music
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: I like those gummy strawberries more myself.
H - Hometown: I get to claim Hillside AND Chicago
I - Instruments: I'd like to learn piano and clarinent. Currently the only instrument I can play well is an X-Box controller.
J- Junior High: Saint Domitilla
K - Kids: None... that I know of! dun dun dun....
L - Longest car ride ever: Driving to Scranton, PA.. ohmigod I can't believe I didn't die in a fiery car crash any of the times I made that drive.
M - Mom's name: Viparwon
N - Nicknames: Chino (my sis calls me that). Don't really have any other nicknames that I acknowledge. People tend to call me Matt because THEY'RE STUPID...
P - Phobia[s]: Failing and disappointing certain people.
Q - Quote: "What the hell?"
R - Reason to smile: The thought of running away to Australia with someone
S - Song you sang last: Finger Eleven - One Thing
T - Time you woke up [today]: 8 something a.m. Good job snooze button.
U - Unknown fact about me: I feel people who read this would already know me well enough.
V - Vegetable you hate: George Bush.
W - Worst habit(s): I spend money like its going out of style because I just don't care sometimes and feel life should be enjoyed and what else is money for if not to be spent.
X - X-rays you've had: Chest, shoulder, arm, uhhh head
Y - Yummy food: Sushi from Hey Sushi! , Beef Chow Fun from Chinatown, Pizza from Gino's and who can forget... Hot Pigga!
Z - Zodiac sign: Aquarius.. freakin water bearers.