Punk'd or Not

So the other day Haruka and I were at the grocery store and I was like.. Hey I'm gonna buy some steaks for dinner.. sounds good right? So I saunter, yes, saunter, over to the butcher and got some steaks.. he wraps them up and goes.. "That'll be $41.00". And I just kind of stand there for a moment blinking. Let me explain how this works for guys. There are two possible outcomes at that moment.

1) Say nevermind and walk away.. quickly.

2) Suck it up and pay for it.

So I couldn't punk out and go with option 1, so those were the tastiest steaks ever.. not really but that night they were.

So today.. I go to Dunkin Donuts cuz I figure.. hey I'll buy donuts and bagles for my team just cuz. I order a dozen donuts and a dozen bagels and the girl working there asks me.. how many cream cheeses you want? So here's me thinking they were the little ass individual onces.. so I say.. SIX. She kind of stares at me.. says four should be good. So I'm like fine four whatever. Turns out they were 4 TUBS of cream cheese. Ain't no one need that much cream cheese lemme tell you. So the guy at the cash register rings me up and says $27. Again, presented with the "not gonna get punked" moment. Good job credit card! Who knew that cream cheese was so freakin expensive.. guess thats what happens when you buy FOUR TUBS.. oops.

- D -

Faith

Damn.. I'm old. In less than a month I'll be a full year older than I was last Februrary. (yes I know). Just damn. Nothing up much lately. More work. More sleep. More not sleeping. Not as much gaming. Getting back into reading so that's good. I've also finally started using the DVD burner on my computer. It's kinda dope to download imports of movies and anime, burn em to dvd to watch em on my TV instead of on the PC.. I mean... I don't download stuff because that's wrong.

Something that's annoying to me is if you go to yahoo.com and run a search for "something more to life" it pulls up almost nothing except religious sites. Why is it that if you feel like you want something more out of life or you're looking for something that it's automatically assumed that you need faith and Jesus in your life? Am I against religion and sacarafice goats in my backyard? No, I don't have a backyard. But, I think there is more out there aside from religion being the answer. My view on some people and religion is that they worship blindly and are so devoted because they *need* something to believe in and for them, religion is it. To each his own, I'm not judging them and for all I know, they're the smart ones.

Lame. Back to work.
----

Poison - Something to Believe in

I drive by the homeless sleeping on a cold dark street
Like bodies in an open grave
Underneath the broken old neon sign
That used to read JESUS SAVES

A mile away live the rich folks
And I see how they're living it up
While the poor they eat from hand to mouth
The rich is drinkin' from a golden cup

And it just makes me wonder
Why so many lose, so few win

And give me something to believe in
If there's a Lord above
And give me something to believe in
Oh, Lord arise

You take the high road
And I'll take the low road

Sometimes I wish to God I didn't know now
The things I didn't know then

And give me something to believe in

No Post Today

That's the way - Shellshock
Hold on!It's never enough
It's never enough until your heart stops beating
The deeper you get, the sweeter the pain
Don't give up the game until your heart stops beating

You call me on the phone, you left me all alone
All I get from you is shellshock
Another day goes by and all I do is cry
All I get from you is shellshock
I'd tell the world and save my soul
But rain falls down and I feel cold
A cold that sleeps within my heart
It tears the earth and sun apart
But that's the way that I can win
A victim of your evil sin
You've lost the hold you've had on me
By causing the changes that you never see
Hold on! It's never enough
It's never enough until your heart stops beating
The deeper you get, the sweeter the pain
Don't give up the game until your heart stops beating

When we walk through open doorways,
Counting time in one or more ways
We can't find our peace of mind
And life becomes a life of crime
And that's the day I call your name
I came to you, I called in vain
You lost the faith within your heart
The fire in your soul from the end to the start
Hold on!It's never enough
It's never enough until your heart stops beating
The deeper you get, the sweeter the pain
Don't give up the game until your heart stops beating

I've been good and I've been bad
But common sense I've never had
No matter how I try and try,
I hide the truth behind a lie
But that's the way that I can win
A victim of your evil sin
You lost the faith within your heart
The fire in your soul from the end to the start
Hold on!It's never enough
It's never enough until your heart stops beating
The deeper you get, the sweeter the pain
Don't give up the game until your heart stops beating

Indigo Child

Read this article. Those of you who know about 'Indigo' may find this amusing. I know I do.

Told you I'm going to save the freaking world someday. Thanks to Joan for forwarding me the email from her mum.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/12/fashion/thursdaystyles/12INDIGO.html?pagewanted=print

- D -

Work makes me numb

It's funny that my cubicle is in the back corner next to the window. The rest of the department is all in front of me. This is nice because then I can browse and do things like this without anyone looking at my screen and if people have questions they usually hit me up on chat or walk over to my desk. Just now a guy who I dubbed 'Dusty' (because he reminds me of an old looking Bubba Gump), walked over to ask me a question and in the back of my mind I was like.. That's right you best walk over here with your dumbass question than have me come to you!.
Work makes me angry and numb alot. I need a vacation, a real one, that doesn't suck, that won't make me die inside because it costs so much. Yes.
---
Song of the Moment

Linkin Park - Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

[Chorus]

No sleep fuels ADD

So I was up until um 5am or so playing Battlefield 2. I couldn't really sleep and was like whatever. At this point.. I'm like.. well, I could sleep for an hour or two before work, but then I'll wake up tired. When this happens, I normally just choose to stay awake and go to work while possibly having a nap when I get home (or during my lunch break if need be).

So moving on to ADD and things I don't want to admit. This morning while sitting on the couch after having not slept I flip through the channels and what's on? Power Rangers. Yes. Power Rangers. The Americanized version of a Japanese show (of course). Now I don't keep up on the franchise at all and whatever channel I was on was showing two different series of Power Rangers. This of course confused me because I'm like.. how many freaking series are there? So I get to work.. tired a bit.. eyes don't work to well and of course.. gotta look up stuff on wikipedia. Wikipedia is so great, I just feel bad that my eyes hurt trying to read all this crap it has on this show.

Do I like the show? Not really but I do have to admit.. laser guns, swords + girls doing martial arts in spandex isn't that bad. I think it's much like most Britney Spear's videos.. it's great, if you have it on mute.

Wow.. I'm gonna try to go wake up and stop looking up things that have absolutely no importance in life whatsoever.

On a sidenote this is an example of a thought that was in my head while I was driving into work today. I feel it's dervied from to many kung-fu flicks growing up.

"An individual's fists are weapons. A weapon can be used more than one way, so do not expect someone to punch in any one way, instead expect the unexpected and be prepared" If I had a gong noise to play after that, I so would.

Right back to work.

- D -

Freaking Nuts

A post about absolutely nothing.

So.. you can learn an important lesson(s) in life from a simple.. pistachio. It can be rather annoying to eat a pistachio as you have to open the shell to get to the inside. Sometimes, the shell is easily opened, sometimes it can take much more force and you may hurt your fingers and scream out FUCKING PISTACHIOS! Sometimes, if you get those red ones, they leave your fingers stained afterwards. The payoff? Yummy.

So. What have we learned from trying to eat a pistachio?

1. It takes effort to get something you want.
2. Sometimes getting what you want can leave you with marks (red pistachios)
3. There are alternatives to get what you want. (Pre "peeled" pistachios)
4. If you're hungry, don't waste time trying to eat a bag of pistachios.

Goals for the New Year?

Goals. Everyone needs them. Specially if you're playing soccer or hockey?

On the reals though.. what are some of the things I want to get done in 2006?

Well.. there's a big list. Sadly much of it depends on having enough financial backing to do so. Let's break it down.

Travel
1. Japan - Domo, Arrigato
2. Thailand - This would be rough as it would involve drama w/my father.
3. England - Dido lives there!

(There's always that getaway planned to Australia but pfft alot has to happen before that does.. G'Day Mate)

Social
1. I need to be better at keeping in touch with people. I've been letting stupid things like work and whatever else keep me from sending emails or picking up the phone. At the same time, some of those people are slackers since THE PHONE RINGS BOTH WAYS.

Work
1. I should try harder. I've been burnt out as of late but still my productivity has definitely slipped. (As is the case with me currently blogging instead of working)

Health
1. Yeah.. I should keep up with personal health. Between doctors and dentists.. I should go go go.
---

Okay, enough of that. Couple of quick notes. Don't go see the movie Bloodrayne. It sucks. It sucks ass. Sure you get to see what's her name from Terminator 3 in a compromising position.. actually it was only one position.. but still, that doesn't save the movie by a long shot.On the flipside haha Godzilla: Final Wars was awesome. It's like the Japanese Matrix, meets Power Rangers, meets Godzilla. If you're a fan of Godzilla its worth it. If you're not.. you'll probably think it sucks ass as well.

So the lyrics I end posts with.. sometimes its just the song that's playing at the time on my laptop, sometimes they have meaning and reasons for being posted. I gotta get back to work. None right now though.. not sure what mood I'm in right now..

Peace

- D -

I see trees of green red roses to

So it's officially the first work day of 2006... fuck that 2006 can keep it! Booo... Needless to say unlike some of the other people here I have not in fact "gotten back into the swing of things." That and I'm off tomorrow so whatever on all that.

I woke up this morning from a really deep sleep with some pretty lucid dreams. I can't recall exactly what they were about but I remember I felt like I was doing something more.. important with my life that actually held meaning. Then I woke up looked at the clock and was like.. ah damn it.

So Xmas and New Years came and went. Sometime this week.. the Hello Kitty meets the rave tree must come down.

Hope everyone had a good holiday.. now back to work bitches! It's funny, sometimes I have to think.. is there anyone that I know that reads this that I feel could get offended by what I write? Then I'm like.. pfft.. if it's anyone that *I* know that reads this they wouldnt be offended if I started making jokes about goats and different ethnic groups so I'm not to worried about it.

Watched a couple of movies over the past several days and standing out in my mind is The Butterfly Effect. Now, I know it stars pfft Ashton Kutcher and I know it has nothing to do with the book of the same title.. but the concept itself wedged itself in my head a little bit. If you haven't read the book or seen the movie.. well that sucks go do that. The basic concept though makes you think a bit. If you could go back in time and make any changes.. what would that effect? Would you be willing to change things which you feel would make other people better off but potentially effect everything else in your life? What if instead I didn't ditch that one event in high school for a girl I'm no longer with? What if I stuck with the whole going to college thing way back? What if's suck ass let me tell you. The problem with all of that is this. If anything were to change, if one thing that happened to me in my lifetime didn't happen.. that would possibly change the person I am today and my identify that I've established at least with my sense of self. So with that in mind, if anything could be changed... would that be good or bad? The thought that I could have been one of those guys that went to college and joined a fraternity..WHAT? pfft.

I think it boils down to me saying Fuck It.

Holla.

- D -

PS. Can you believe I still have some Xmas gifts to give out? Jeebus.

Nina Gordon - Tonight and the Rest of My Life (Partial)

Down to the earth
I fell with dripping wings
Heavy things won’t fly
And the sky might catch on fire
And burn the axis of the world that’s why
I prefer a sunless sky
To the glittering and stinging in my eyes

I feel so light
This is all I wanna feel tonight
I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life
Tonight and the rest of my life

Gleaming in the dark sea
I’m as light as air floating there breathlessly
When the dream dissolves
I open up my eyes
I realize that
Everything is shoreless sea
A weightlessness is passing over me