Knowledge is Power

My job title is Knowledge Management Specialist. Above my desk, I have a cartoon printed up with an older guy wearing a suit kneeling down next to a kid that he is trying to give guidance to. When I randomly look at that throughout the day at work, it makes me laugh and hate my job a little less.

I have the song "Eyes On Me" (Soul of Bass Version) on repeat on my headphones right now. I posted the lyrics a bit ago. Something about this song makes me a little less dead inside. I think its because it makes me think of the Final Fantasy videogames which has been a part of my life since I was able to pick up a controller. And though people in my life that I hang out with or whatever have changed, in the end, those games were always there and the good guys in those games were always still good even if you were having a bad day. On some strange level.. that's comforting.

Hehehe bought a new LCD Monitor for home. It's purrrty. It's a bit expensive.. but hey.. it makes me happy, not to mention shooting people in first person shooters will be even easier! muhaha!

So next month I'm going to road trip with Donovan since he's going away for school. The drive should be about 28+ hours. Damn. That's going to be a long drive. I've told people I want to bring some sort of weapon along. Driving through some of the southern states in a red Honda Civic makes me a bit nervous. I swear if I hear, "We don't like your kind round here!" There will be conseequences and repercussions! Hehe. Thug.

I'm jealous I'm not going to the Full Moon Party. Have fun at that Nong Soi you deserve a vacation.. even if I don't get to go with :( <- That's me, being sad.

Let's see what else. I've resurrected my PDA at work because there's so much stuff being piled on me that I can't keep track of it otherwise. They're going to give me a Blackberry soon which I'm not sure is a good thing or not. Sure I already have the Nextel that they call me on at random during non-business hours bit now they'll be able to email me to? hmm.

On a lighter note, I'll be getting the kitties from Joan soon. Since she and Kenyon will be moving R & T need a place to crash. That's pretty cool, it's been awhile since R and I have been able to lounge around on the couch and play videogames or watch sci fi.. though he prefers to help me play first person shooters on the computer so he can 'point out' all the bad guys by selectively swatting at the monitor when I'm playing hehe.

Ah crap I started this post 4 hours ago and I haven't been able to finish it so I'll do it later.

~dhavid

Surf's Up

No time to post today work sucks. Long post of lyrics instead.
---

Jack Johnson - Flake

I know she said it's alright
But you can make it up next time
I know she knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe maybe she thinks its fine
Maybe she knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down

I know she loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes
And I know that when she said she's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't want to break 'em, nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em
Maybe she'll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie to you.

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go

The harder that you try baby, the further you'll fall
Even with all the money in the whole wide world
Please please please don't pass me
Please please please don't pass me
Please please please don't pass me by

Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change
You gonna have to call it by a brand new name
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me down

Just like a tree down by the water baby I shall not move
Even after all the silly things you do
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me down

Of all the things I miss

I miss my soul the most.

This whole corporate grind thing it's well.. what happens to peper after you grind it? And after it's already.. ground, what happens when you try to grind it more? Exactly my point.

So I'm trying to stay afloat of these things I need to fix, maintain, create and manage, then Princes of the Universe by Queen comes on and this of course has my mind wander off in another direction for a couple minutes and I was thinking.. what do I miss from days gone by. Here's a list of some things.

1. Random road trips (that don't suck)
2. Having a 'core' group of people I hung out with on a daily basis
3. TV shows like Highlander
4. Playing Q-Zar and being good at it (before it was about covering sensors)
5. Going to the arcade with Donovan and owning people at any fighting game out there. (Cept Tekken cuz that one sucks)
6. Saturday Morning Cartoons. (Though I watch anime whenever.. but still!)
7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.... cereal
8. Having a reason to talk to people on the phone for hours and being okay with that. (Nowadays a typical conversation is like "What up?" "Nothing much" . . . "Aight later" "Later then"
9. Not having to be responsible and pay bills
10. Riding my bike (Tricked out BMX or 10speed)
11. Stealing my mom or my cousins car and driving w/out a license.
12. Hanging out with /being a gangbanger (More I miss some of the people but let's face it, gangs are stupid)
13. Playing Total Annihilation for days taking a break here and there so my friends and I didn't die from hunger or lack of sleep.
14. The Prelude
15. Getting my ass kicked in the mosh pits at NIN concerts
16. Ditching High School - Can't really get away with ditching much else after that
17. A pager. (I've had once since like.. for ever ago before cell phones were big, it was nice to make the choice of.. do I feel like calling this person back? Now they leave you messages on your cell blah blah blah.. shaddup)
18. Having a mohawk (not to the punky spike in the middle of your head style but still)
19. Wearing a black leather biker jacket haha
20. Not thinking of things that I miss

Awesome.

----

D12 w/Eminem - How Come

So I changed huh? You got a phone, pick it up, call me

Chorus:
How come we dont even talk no more
And you dont even call no more
We dont barely keep in touch at all
And I dont even feel the same love when we hug no more
And I heard it through the grape vine we even beefin now
After all the years we been down
Aint no way no how, this bullshit can be true
We family and aint a damn thing changed, unless it's you

So young, so full of life in vibrant side by side wherever you
weres ridin i went
So close, almost on some bonnie and clyde shit
When ronnie died you wass right by my side with a sholder to cry on
Tissue to wipe my eyes, and a bucket to catch every tear i cried inside it
You even had the same type of childhood i did
Sometimes i just want to know why is it that you sucame to yours
And mine i survived it, you ran the streets, i 9 to 5'd it
We grew up, grew apart, as time went by us, then i blew up
To both yours and mine surprises
Now i feel the vibe i just cant describe it
As much as your pride tries to hide it
Your cold, you touch its like ice
In your eyes is the look of resenment
I can sense it, and i dont like it

[Chorus]

It was my dream at first to be on spittin a verse
On my own album with a deal but shit got burst
So i came out i woulda killed a nigga first
Before i let him disrespect me and check me over some worste
Some bitch that i wasnt with i would hit her then quit
But you would pull a talk with her and tell her she was the shit
I told you dont get involved in it, you was smokin the chron with her
Comin out of the bar with her stumblin half drunk
Like yall was husband and wife or somethin
But me catchin you f**kin other niggas musta hurt you pride or somethin
Cuz you wont f**k at the mouth with people like you wanted with me
When all i tried to do was show your bitch was shifty
And ever since the fans and all the shit that i produced
You actin like i aint you man and lyin like she can't be loose
But i am really you friend, i'm jus trying to tell you the truth
But dont hate the game or the player
Cuz the one that is changing is you

[Chorus]

You're only at the top cuz my homie had to stop
Now we actin like i gotta live only for the block
Homies in the hood only she be on the tube
Only gossip on the porch get to speakin on who
Fools i used to rap with all expect magic
Like my finger get to snappin and *poof* it jus happen
But PROOF is jus actin out the party was stoned
Shady made it so my babys aint starvin at home
See the devil in you grin since the ghetto we been friends
Whenever real intelligence thats forever till the end
I be the hatred in your eyes and the satan in your lives
And wastin my times with these snakes in disguise
(how come) when you talk its with bitter is fight
And (how come) it's my fault for what you did with your life
And everytime i go to hear you and play you look away
We barely embrace, you can't even look me in my face.

Head Like a Hole

Work work work. And I didn't win the damn lottery from last Friday. I don't follow the rules of winning;

1. Can't speak English
2. Already wealthy
3. Older than dirt

So lets see. Last Thur / Fri I wasn't able to post at all because work is whoring me like a blonde hooker in Asia... (thinks about people who read this...) Strike that last comment.

This past weekend I was in St. Louis with Haruka, my mum, my sis and her boyfriend. Let me just say if you go there.. you must be like the chick from UHF who picked 'the box' over the red snapper.

I'll say ok it was cool to see technology from the 60s.. but I'm more a new technology kind of guy. I'd rather have a lightsaber or a laser gun compared to a rocketship held up by strings.

While there we stopped at a casino. All I can say is.. damn I can burn through money quick on video poker. I wasn't feelin playing with all the pros at the tables. Damn people that gamble all the time and get pissy if you don't do something 'right'. Whatever with that, you're there to have fun, its not your damn job, least not mine.

Also on the ride home, we had a tire blow out.. luckily it was the back tire or else I wouldn't be sitting her failing to post anything interesting right now.

Ok. I gotta get back to work, I'll post when I have time to breathe and such.

~dhavid

Riddle me this

I'm so not motivated to work. So instead I'll read the blogs of people I like. Stumbling across Donovan's blog he posted some Q&A.. guess I'll answer this instead of working.. good job.
--
1. ONE WISH? World Peace.
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? Yes. It's good to be both.
3. WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR? Wasting my life by not doing something of worth and not being remembered when I'm gone.
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC? I was all about the spaceship sci-fi legos.
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV? It's ok. I'll take sci-fi over it any day.
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? Sometimes yeah.
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? Hell if I remember.
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU? Only when I want to play videogames till the sun comes up hehehe
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD? White.. black on the laptop.
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? No.
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? No.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS? If yes, they're still secret to me.
13. WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? Japan. Thailand. Australia. London.
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY? Looks aren't everything.
15. CAN YOU SWIM? Like Nemo.
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE “DONNIE DARKO”? Director's Cut baby.
17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE? Why would I care about the layer of atmosphere that allows for human life on the surface of the planet...(that means yes for you slower folks).
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOSTIE POP? Don't know, I like instant gratification myself.
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? Sing? Hell I can barely SAY the alphabet backwards.

(Crap at this point I start to figure out how long this list of questions is and feel I REALLY should get back to work.. but the show must go on!)

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE? Yup.
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD? Nope
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS? Electric
23. WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING? I think its bullshit to hunt for sport. If you're going to eat it, ok. But don't shoot living things for no reason.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? Someday.
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Hahahahha. No. There's a reason I can type very fast.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO? Uh.. Horses (boo), Cats (till I get used to them).
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID I LOVE YOU”? This morning
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE? If he is, he's a dumbass.
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? No.
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Cooked.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB? Stupid knows no hair color.
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP? On the other foot if you can find it.
33. WHAT TIME IS IT? 9:52 a.m.
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? None that I approve of.
35. IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING? From a nutritional standpoint fuck yeah, now pass me some nuggets and an order of fries.
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? Couple of hours ago.
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? Wait, Solo? Showers I spose.
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL? As real as weapons of mass destruction and the easter bunny.
39. KIRK OR PICARD? Dude.. who else can scream KAAAAAAAHHNNN!!!! Kirk is a legend. Picard is just a high level pimp.
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? Normally no.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? Breathing. Seems like whenever I try to stop, I can't.
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? Creamy? Don't really care.
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK? Yes. (Look Mom! No Hands!)
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? Been in them more than once not sure if I actually took a ride on one though.
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY? Once so far.
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE? Meh.. prochoice on that. Am I curious of some? Sure. Would I care if I never had any the rest of my life? Not really.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER? Yeah, if you try waking me up and aren't careful you might get knocked the FUCK out.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? Brown.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? It has it's moments. It might not be alot, but it's my lot.
51. LIQUOR OR BEER? Liquor. Gimme a shaker and some juice, I'll mix you something.
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC? I KNEW you were going to ask that...

(Bloody hell how long is this thing?!)

53. HAVE YOU READ “CATCHER THE RYE”? No.
55. HAVE U EVER STOLEN MONEY? Yes.
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD? Not so much.
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING? Sure.
58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH? No.
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? No, but I would like to.
60. ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND? Not always.
61. DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? Better to be divorced than end up in a fiery car crash rolling down the side of a hill becaue your husband or wife wanted to end the relationship.
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? Yes.
63.DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES? No. I mean yes. Damn it!
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY? Sadly no.
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Strawberries and cream.
66.DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH? Not normally.
67. SWEATSHIRT OR JACKET? Jacket (I miss you jacket!)
68. WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING COMMERCIAL? Those viagra like ones with the guy that smiles to much. It's creepy as shit.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE? Nope.
70. DO YOU SNORE? If a tree falls in the forrest...
71. FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT? Something techno / trance / euro like.

One foot in front of the other

Good Morning.

So I get to my cubicle this morning and I ask one of my coworkers.. is it REALLY bright in here or? He kind of tilted his head and looked at me like I was asking him for some spare change so I could afford my next purchase of crack... awesome.

First.. Happy Birthday to Joan! Hopefully she was able to celebrate with more than spackle and paint.

This was kind of a quiet weekend for the most part. Think Haruka and I managed to watch alot of TV and even did some laundry. But honestly after a full work week of running and jumping through hoops, I appreciate just sitting still and waiting for the blur of myself to catch up with me so I can be centered again. Tallulah should know what I mean by that.

Yesterday we went to the downtown area of one of the nieghborhoods north of me. I can say it was cool for multiple reasons but mainly because standing there looking around if you just let go, it seemed like you were in another city somewhere else in the World. I guess it's a romantic notion to just pick up and go or the adventurous feeling of having to adapt to an unknown place and situations. Meh.. it's hard to explain, but I like it.

Then we saw War of the Worlds. Let me say.. it sucked so much ass I was angry for hours after watching it. Just because Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg are involved with a film, by no means guarantees it to be good. Now I watched the original when I was a kid and watched the spinoff television series of it as well. The special effects? Sure awesome. The story? I could have wiped my ass with the script and it would have been better than what they had. Slackers. Oh and it was also awesome how the projector stopped at a really tense part of the film and then 10 minutes later some theatre employee coming in and telling us it would be fixed in 10 or 15 minutes.. awesome.

Then I get home and watched The Day After Tomorrow, just because I never watched it when it came out. Apparently yesterday was apocalypse movie day for me. It does make me think.. if any huge end of the world like thing happened as bad as it would be, I'd kind of have fun trying to survive and move on. Don't ask, I can't explain. It probably goes with the notion of adapting and adventuring.

Anyway I'm going to go back to work.. lots of stuff to do.

Awesome.

- D -

Every day and every night

Exotic Voices - I'll Fly With You (euro version)

I still believe in your eyes
I just don't care what
You have done in your life
Baby I'll always be here by your side
Don't leave me waiting too long
Please come by
I, I, I, I still believe in your eyes;
There is no choice,
I belong to your life
Because I will live
To love you someday;
You'll be my baby
And we'll fly away
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you
You are, are, are, are, are, are
You are, are, are, are, are, are
You are, are, are, are, are, are

Every day and every night,
I always dream that
You are by my side
Oh, baby, every day
And every night,
Well I said everything's
Gonna be alright
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you

You are, are, are, are, are, are
You are, are, are, are, are, are

Dream of me
I still believe in your eyes
I just don't care what
You've done in your life
Baby I'll always
Be here by your side;
Don't leave me
Waiting too long,
Please come by
I, I, I, I still believe in your eyes;
There is no choice,
I belong to your life
Because I will live
To love you some day;
You'll be my baby
And we'll fly away
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you

Every day and every night,
I always dream that
You are by my side
Oh, baby, every day
And every night,
Well I said everything's
Gonna be alright
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you

You are, are, are, are, are, are
You are, are, are, are, are, are

Crimson and Clover

No time to post. Work keeping me busy. Still alive. Still moving forward.
---

Jimmy Eat World - Praise Chorus

Are you gonna live your life wonderin' standing in the back lookin' around?
Are you gonna waste your time thinkin' how you've grown up or how you missed out?
Things are never gonna be the way you want.
Where's it gonna get you acting serious?
Things are never gonna be quite what you want.
Or even at 25, you gotta start sometime.
I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go.
Now all I need is just to hear a song I know.
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine.
I wanna fall in love tonight.
Are you gonna live your life standing in the back looking around?
Are you gonna waste your time?
Gotta make a move or you'll miss out.
Someone's gonna ask you what it's all about.
Stick around nostalgia won't let you down.
Someone's gonna ask you what it's all about.
Whatcha gonna have to say for yourself?
I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go.
Now all I need is just to hear a song I know.
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine.
I wanna fall in love tonight.
Crimson and clover, over and over.
Crimson and clover, over and over.
Our house in the middle of the street, why did we ever meet?
Started my rock 'n roll fantasy.
Don't don't, don't let's start, why did we ever part?
Kick start my rock 'n rollen heart.
I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go.
So come on Davey, sing me somethin' that I know.
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine.
I wanna fall in love tonight.
Here tonight.
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight.

Crack your bones

To sum up my Chiropractor experience yesterday I offer this excerpt from the transcript of Eddie Izzard's Dressed to Kill show.

----

So I had to go see a chiropractor, in New York. And um, they’re different to osteopaths, chiropractors, because of the spelling. And, uh… Of course, they’re both very powerful figures on the Scrabble board, though… “Chiropractor…chiropractor…chiropractor…93 letters, chiropractor.”

And – and they, uh, they crack your bones – that’s what they do – they crack your bones! And they take x-rays – what – at this point – this – because – this – whatever is wrong with you – “You’ve got a bad back, I’m gonna crack your bones. You’ve got diphtheria – I’m gonna crack your bones. Your head’s come off! I’m gonna crack your bones. It looks like your mother! I’m going to crack your – “ you know…

And then when they crack your bones it goes uuuughhhh and then ahhhhhhh but not sort of ahhhhhhhhh but sort – ahhhhhhhhh! All the way up your spine, “Crack your bones, crack your bones, crack your bones.” And they sort of arrange you into a – a nice, comfortable – ahhhhcharrghh!…ahhhhpoughhh! And sometimes it doesn’t crack! Sometimes it just goes, “____”. Then they pull a mallet from their belt and they – “Try to make the noise! Make the noise! I live for the noise…” And they do your head as well, around here, and they get it into a nice posit – and you’re thinking, “Wh – wh – where – wh – where – the – wh – the – uh, no I don’t think it’s supposed to go around that – !…”

In the end you just trust them, you trust them. They could have your fingers – their fingers in your nostrils, one foot on the back of your underpants, and they’re pushing your spine away with a broom. “Well, what’s this one about?” “I have no idea.”
----

Overall it was kind of neat. I was hooked up to a machine that pretty much was shooting electricity into my back. Unfortunately it did not give me the ability to shoot lightning from my fingertips.. I'll have to ask him to turn it higher next time. I was also on this rolling machine that I feel is a modern day torture device. Sure it's supposed to "massage" your spine but if you're going to the Chiropractor obviously you're back / spine probably hurt.. mmm logic.

I'm getting old. *sigh*

- D -

----

Nirvana - The Man Who Sold The World
We passed upon the stairs,
We spoke of was and when
Although I wasn?t there
He said I was his friend
Which came as a surprise
I spoke into his eyes -- I thought you died alone
A long long time ago

Oh no, not me,
We never lost control,
You're face to face,
With the man who sold the world

I laughed and shook his hand,
I made my way back home,
I searched for form and land,
Years and years I roamed,
I gazed a gazely stare,
We walked a million hills -- I must have died alone,
A long long time ago.

Who knows, not me,
I never lost control,
You?re face, to face,
With the man who sold the world.

No need for a title

Have a mid year review today at work. Hoping it will go well and I'll get a raise and or promotion. Either would be good, both would be better. If it doesn't work the way I want, I'll have to wait until March. Boo.

Over the weekend I managed to spend a couple thousand dollars again.. as I do. This time though it wasn't for drugs, sex, or new cars. Not that I usually buy that stuff.. but for reals, I bought a couch! A real grown up piece of furniture. I'm a bit beside myself I'm not sure how to handle that yet. I don't think I've ever been on a payment plan.. for furniture. I managed to get one 3-person couch, one chair, one cocktail table and two end tables. Neat, huh?

Woot!

Now to pay off all this stuff. Anyone hiring for part time drug dealer and or assassin? Maybe an internship? How bout a pimp from home? I hear you can work just about any job from home nowadays as long as you have an internet connection. Hell if anything I should launch my website that would bring me much $. www.rentapuppy.com , where I could offer hourly puppy rentals for guys who want to walk through the park or along the beach to pick up women. I'd be RICH I tell you!

Oh and after work today I get to go to the chiropractor who's going to break my bones, I mean.. fix me. Awesome.

Holla Back.

- D -

----

Depeche Mode - Blasphemous Rumors (Excerpt)

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor
And when I die, I expect to find him laughing

Winding Down.

I'm tired. Waking up early tomorrow to go take a look at some furniture. I need a freaking couch. The blue velvet beanbag has definitely lost its charm. Going to Tallulah's show tonight but that's not till around 11pm sooooo not to sure what to do before then.

Gah.. 45 minutes left to work. I should do something productive since I'm not in more training classes or in meetings that put me to sleep right now.

Later,

- D -

-----

Michelle Branch - All You Wanted (Excerpt)

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away
From here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
Was somebody who cares

I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have
To keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go
When you're gone

Mamma Mia Let Me Go

So I'm sitting at work with my earphones on, with the music effectively turned on this time I might add, and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen comes on. I can't quite explain it but hearing this song and listening to it just makes me laugh. It's just.. hilarious hehehhe.

----

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
I'm just a poor boy I need no sympathy-
Because I'm easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesn't really matter to me,
To me

Mama,just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now he's dead,
Mama,life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooo,
Didn't mean to make you cry-
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on,carry on,as if nothing really matters-

Too late,my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Body's aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-I've got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all-

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Galileo,galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-magnifico-
But IÂ’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
HeÂ’s just a poor boy from a poor family-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-let him go-
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me-

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
Oh baby-can't do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

Any way the wind blows....
----

On a serious note. My thoughts are with the people and their families in London who were affected by the recent Terrorist attack. I can confidently say that terrorists suck ass and if ever put into a situation where someone gave me the choice to pull the trigger on a terrorist that has comitted such acts or is planning to, I would have no hesitation whatsoever(course having concrete proof would be required so the order couldn't come from someone like Bush who's intelligence is as reliable as a Solar Powered car during the six-month winter night in Antarctica). Sure being raised Catholic and all that I was told Thou Shalt Not Kill, at the same time I firmly believe Thou Shalt Not Let Punk Ass Bitch Terrorists walk around freely to harm innocent people and do nothing about it. (That would have taken a bigger tablecommandments commandements to fit I feel). But seriously, when it comes down to it some things just have to be done.

It's a sad truth but stupid people *have* to exist in this world if anything as a reminder to others on what not to become and what choices in life not to make.

- D -

Big Ball of Fire !

Wow. Long post.. INCOMING!

So let's see. I haven't been at work since last Friday since we had July 4th and all that and yesterday I had to take off to take care of some stuff with the new apartment.

First I have to start with things so far this morning.. As I was driving into work either it was due to not enough sleep or just being so used to cloudy days, but something caught the corner of my eye and it was a bright light. For a moment, I started to freak out and was like.. what the hell is that big ball of light to my left?!?!... Yeah. Ok. So it was the sun, and it was in fact, not, coming right at me. Doh.

Then I'm sitting here at my desk with my headphones in my ear. I'd say almost an hour later I notice.. hey... there's no music playing. Groan.

Ok. Back to reality. I'm trying to get caught up on email both work and personal. Internet and cable were hooked up yesterday at home. Yay ! ^_^

Recently a friend of mine overseas just had some surgery. Nong Soi, glad you're ok and uhh have all the parts that should be inside you, well.. inside! When you coming back to the States already?

Tallulah is in a new show that opens this Friday dun dun dunnnnnnn. Hit me up for details if you need em.

Also, another friend of mine is going through some Cancer stuff right now. Let me know if I can do anything to help Nauds.

Ok back on to the drama at the new apartment. So alot of stuff was broken when Haruka and I moved in. Screens needed to be replaced uhhh dishwasher didn't work etc. Anyway, this uber maintenance guy came yesterday and fixed alot of stuff. That's a good thing. I had to go to the management office to get the remote to my parking lot that opens the gate... Yes.. I had to get out of my parking lot to which I did not have a remote to open the gate to. Awesome. So I do have to say among the home improvements that were made, I give props to the person who invented the almighty circuit breaker. There were a couple of light switches that were upside down. Sure maybe I'm a little anal or something but that just urks me. Soooooo I decided to flip them. Now sure I know I *should* have turned off all the electricity FIRST, but I wanted to keep the A/C on. Yeah. My bad on that. As I was flipping the kitchen light switch.. SPARK! Loud POP! Me, jumping back and making sure all my body parts were still intact. Lights in the kitchen.. go off. Hehehhehe. Then the cable guy that was there installing my stuff was like.. hey can I get a signature while you're still alive? .. DOH! Needless to say, the circuits were shut off and I finished my work successfully without BBQing myself. I RAWK!

Ok I should get back to work before someone figures out I haven't done a single productive work-related thing in the hour I've been here so far.

Ciao

- D -

----

FF VIII - Eyes on Me

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I want to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I love your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then I will know
that you are no dreamer

Lost in the Fog

Ok today we are going to talk about sleep deprivation

All information taken from http://www.postgradmed.com

What is sleep deprivation?
Many Americans don't get enough sleep to remain healthy and feel alert during the day. Recent studies have shown that Americans sleep an average of 7 hours each night rather than the 8 hours recommended by sleep experts.

People who work long hours, those who have a hectic family schedule or a new baby, teens who stay up late and have to get up early for school, and even people whose pets sleep with them may get less sleep than their body needs to be at its best. Over time, this lack of sleep, also called sleep deprivation, can have serious effects on health and relationships. It may even be deadly

What are the effects of sleep deprivation?
It isn't clear why we need sleep, but we do know that sleep is as important as food and water. Some experts think sleep helps the brain recharge its energy and store memories for the long term. Sleep also seems to help the body fight off infection.

People who don't get enough sleep may lack energy, be depressed or irritable, have trouble remembering everyday things, and get sick more often than people who get enough sleep. They seem to age faster and they may have problems concentrating at work or school. Some scientists believe a lack of sleep may have a role in diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, and even obesity.

Poor sleep also leads to accidents. More than 200,000 auto accidents happen each year because drivers fall asleep at the wheel. The 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill was at least partially caused by the actions of a tired tanker operator.

On the other hand, too much sleep can be as harmful as too little. Recent studies have shown that adults who get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night live longer and are less likely to get heart disease than those who sleep less or more.

Sleep habits for a good night's rest
Stay away from caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol, particularly later in the day.

Have a light snack (but avoid eating a large meal) shortly before bedtime.

Go to bed and get up at the same times each day, even on weekends.

Get regular exercise early in the day.

Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. A fan or soft music can help disguise
distracting bedtime noise.

Use your bed for only sleep and sex.

Before bedtime, do muscle-relaxing exercises or take a warm bath.

Don't take sleeping pills unless your doctor prescribes them.

Avoid daytime naps unless they last less than 1 hour and are taken before 3 PM.

Try counting sheep or counting backward, which can lull some people to sleep.

If you lie in bed awake for more than 30 minutes, get up, go to a different room
and read or watch television, and return to bed when you feel sleepy.

Misery loves company.. and electricity

So the annual let's move apartments because it's fun is over. A nice start at about 9am. Finish time? 12:30am. Went to sleep time 2:45am. Wake up time 4:45am. Yes.. I'm freaking cracked out right now. So lets break it down.

The movers themselves were good guys and got stuff done however it went from.. move time of mid afternoon, late evening, morning, late afternoon, back to around noon. I was just like.. awesome guys make up your minds. I hope the lady that screwed those guys up schedule wise gets charged with a "You're Stupid" fee.

So whatev, all the stuff was moved to the new place and during the course of all this I find out.. no electricity there sucker!
...
So I call Com Ed (We don't use no PG&E here!) and they tell me.. it'll be on between 1 and 3 days. That's such a CRAP answer. That's like threatening someone and saying.. dude, I will kick your ass! ... sometime in the near future.

Besides that.. the management company of the apartment building hasn't fixed certain things.. like the BIG ASS HOLES in the window screens. And what do I find the moment I walk in? Oh look.. the windows are all open... this leads to.. oh look.. there's freaking bugs on the walls / flying around. I was more than a bit annoyed by this point. They insist they have 10 days to fix everything that's wrong with the apartment. I insist if within 10 days not everything is fixed I'm going to firebomb their office, rape their horses and ride off on the women! (The fiery singing bush told me to do so)

So we're crashing at Panda Thug's house who lives not close to the city. Again. awesome.

Why is it never easy? I mean seriously. I must have had to been a GIANT ASSHOLE that just constantly shat on people in a former lifetime or something. Well ew. Now I have a gross visual. Oh AND.. I got a ticket yesterday because my dumbass hasn't gotten a new sticker for my license plate. Awesome.

I'm surprised a freaking asteroid didn't hit the planet yesterday. Course it would only hit the spot I'm in probably.

And F this heatwave we're having here. I'd rather be on a beach enjoying a cool sea breeze and listening to the waves crashing with the lighthouse running in the background. (Yes, I'd take that scene over a sunny hot beach with half nekkid women running around) (No, I am in fact not gay even if I do live near 'Boys Town')

Of course being off work a day, I come back today and just get bombarded leaving me with the feeling of just getting bitchslapped by a midget in high heels. Awesome. Good Job. Well Played. Then a coworker asks me when I'm going back to school. Just damn.

I'm going to see if I survive the rest of the day.

Holla.

- D -
---

Puddle of Mudd - Blurry

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i'll protect you
from all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
there's noone left that's real
to make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Yawn

Yesterday was Panda Thug's Bday. Around 12:30am or so two of his friends from LA, two cousins, another friend and I hit Chinatown. Actually they hit there while I was at home watching a movie but I met up with them. I can say had it not been his birthday I'd of stayed my ass at home and slept.

Finally made a compilation of the music I picked up when I was in LA last. New CD now available hehe. I dub thee 'Trance Trance Revolution!'

If these people dont mail me back about my move-in date for the apartment today I'm going to have to chew bubble gum and kick ass at their office tonight. Most the corporate office at work today is at the summer outing. Of course some of us have to stay behind to ya know.. provide support and all that. Damn. Feel like a cheap push up bra. Not even the sweet silky lacy kind with the strap.. er... nevermind.

I'll write more if I wake up I'm damned tired hehe.

- D -

---
From the 'Trance Trance Revolution!'

The Second You Sleep (Version by Tess)

You close your eyes
And leave me naked by your side
You close the door so I can't see, the love you keep inside
The love you keep for me
It fills me up
It feels like living in a dream
It fills me up so I can't see
The love you keep inside
The love you keep for me
I stay to watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
It gives me time to stay, to watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
I wish by God you'd stay

I stay awake
I stay awake and watch you breathe
I stay awake and watch you fly, away into the night
Escaping through a dream

I stay to watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
It gives me time to stay
To watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
I wish by God you'd stay

Yes Yes I know

Hoy,

I know I haven't updated much as of late but things have been busy. Between work and finding a place to live.. just damn.

Ok so a couple of things.

First, Congrats to Haruka for landing a sweet job that pays decent and more importantly gives me a FREE parking spot a block away from my job woot! Free parking for the win!

Next, the new apartment has been located. It's a nice 2 bedroom apartment with hardwood floors throughout etc and a nice big patio on the ground level for BBQs! Now if those bastards would just mail me back I could find out when the move in date is so I can schedule movers...haters.

The boyz and uhh girl, came in from the West Coast, and well from all over, for the work IT Conference we had. That was dope to hang with some of mah boyz though I have to say those LA guys can corrupt you within minutes. One day you'll be a fine church going boy like I was (pfft), the next thing you know you'll be ready to swipe your credit card between some random girl's breasts (no i didn't do that), but you get the idea. Oh and also.. they thought they had game when it came to Street Fighter. All I can say is... Chicago Represent! .. owned.

Over the weekend I decided to throw an impromptu BBQ at Panda Thug's house. It was pretty dope. Lots of food, lots of alcohol. I got to see some of the boyz I haven't seen for a long time now to. Everyone there could agree that the highlite was when Shakespeare managed to fall forward and flat on his chest (almost his face) while sitting on the railing of the deck we were on. That had to have been the funniest thing I've ever seen and I can only wish we had it on video because you couldn't have planned that better. Then you had Panda thug trying to give Donovan advice on how to schmooze women (Donovan needs no advice whatsoever Mr I have fitty girls on speed dial just damn). Panda's contribution? "You need to throw down some Hershey's Kisses and be like BAM I kiss the ground you walk on!!!!"... Yeah the rest of us laughed as well ^_^

This weekend Tallulah and Nightingale are having a joint Birthday party. I should be able to make it to that depending on that whole moving thing.

Ok.. I'll post more later I don't even have the time to be witty right now!

Holla Back,

- D -

-----

NIN - We're In This Together Now

you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow

you and me
if the world should break in two
until the very end of me
until the very end of you

all that we were is gone we have to hold
all that we were is gone we have to hold
when all our hope is gone we have to hold
all that we were is gone but we can hold on

And it only Monday?

First and foremost,

Happy Birthday Tallulah!
Welcome to the ranks of 25 and up where you will enjoy lower car rental prices and... and... huh.. I'm not really sure what else an advantage of being 25 is oh well Happy Birthday regardless.

So lets see... over the weekend my boss had a wedding in Madison, IN. Now let me tell you something. If you are of the... not white ethnicity, I don't recommend this part of the world. One of my friends who was there, he and his wife whom are both Chinese walked into a restaurant and everyone stopped to look at them... yes. It was a step up from having to throw down with some lamers in white hoods. I also got a speeding ticket on the way down there. 97mph in a 65. Luckily he didn't clock me when i was at 110+mph. DOH. Least he didn't mark me for reckless driving that would have made the ticket even more expensive.

Other big news.. I originally thought that I had until August to find a new place to live. I was hoping by then to have some money saved up for a down payment, maybe get a condo or a town house or something.. Yeah. I received a phone call from my landlord on Friday and she was like.. Do you want to extend your lease? I said not so much, and she informed me my lease was up on the END OF THE MONTH... CRAP!!! Bother. I'm just going to move to the mountains and become a hobbit (yes, I know it's hermit).

Gotta get back to work, another boss told me this was my "time to shine," which for the non corporate slaves I'll translate. It means I have to work even more hours and try to forget all about that thing called 'social life', or 'sleep'. Awesome.

Holla Back.

- D -

----

Knockin' On Heaven's Door - Avril Lavigne version (Bob Dylan-Original)

Momma take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore
It's getting dark, too dark to see
Feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

Momma put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
That long black cloud is coming down
I Feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

Keep Rollin

Leonard Cohen - Everybody Knows

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died

Everybody talking to their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
And a long stem rose
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

And everybody knows that it's now or never
Everybody knows that it's me or you
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah when you've done a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton
For your ribbons and bows
And everybody knows

And everybody knows that the Plague is coming
Everybody knows that it's moving fast
Everybody knows that the naked man and woman
Are just a shining artifact of the past
Everybody knows the scene is dead
But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose
What everybody knows

And everybody knows that you're in trouble
Everybody knows what you've been through
From the bloody cross on top of Calvary
To the beach of Malibu
Everybody knows it's coming apart
Take one last look at this Sacred Heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Nada mucho

Huh.. long weekend, that was nice. Short work week, that's nice. Have to go to my boss's wedding this coming weekend in Indiana. I should probably make a hotel reservation or something ^_^

I can think of absolutely nothing interesting to post right now. I need to clean and do laundry tonight. Yes. Bought a game over the weekend and beat it in like 5 hours. That was both satisfying and sad at the same time.

Sometime in the next couple of weeks I should be in a meeting to discuss if I'm going to get more money at work or not... we'll see how that goes.

I'll post when I can think of something witty and interesting.

- D -

------
Dream On - Aerosmith

Every time that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life's in books' written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me sing for the years
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
Sing with me if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

Dream on dream on dream on
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on dream on dream on
Dream until your dream comes true
Dream on dream on dream on dream on
Dream on dream on dream on yeah