FTL Drive Failure

Huh.. so I'm still alive kinda hanging on, I'm stubborn like that. Haven't had much time for much lately. All I live and breathe it seems is work. I need a vacation. Seriously. Work along with a combination of other things has just kicked my ass all round. Last weekend, I was in bed and I couldn't for the life of me get motivated to get up and face the day (or the evening in my case that day). That's pretty bad when you can't give yourself a reason to even get up.

In a war scenario, if you were on the battlefield.. you couldnt just lay down in the middle of a fight or surrender. You'd have others yelling at you to get up and keep moving, and to keep fighting. But damn man... "even heroes have the right to bleed." I have no delusions that I have a bad or a hard life compared to some others.. I just need to recharge a bit.

On the upside I've been reading a bit more lately. Sure its not the stuffy literature that overly intellectual people like to read.. but whatever it's fun and amusing. I definitely can respect anyone that can write well. I'll be starting the third book of this series when it comes out in paperback in two weeks on a whim I decided to check out an auther I hadn't heard of Elizabeth Moon. The series Vatta's War is freaking great if you like a sci fi military type of thing. I dig that the main character's a girl named Kylara hehe hardass.

Wow.. I need to go catch a train so I can go home and.. yup you guessed it, work. *sigh* Wonder how my review is going to go in uhh January or March I forgot when it is.. whatever.

- D -

Superman - Five for Fighting

Don't be a Hiro?

Ha.

Best conversation.

How you doin?
Ah you know..
Don't be a hero!
Hehehe

Stupid Equity Office selling to Blackstone.. damn.

---

Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight

Go on and close the curtains
All we need is candlelight
You and me and a bottle of wine
Going to hold you tonight

We know I'm going away
How I wish....wish it weren't so
Take this wine & drink with me
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire
And it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
To take me away....it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye
Darling please don't start cry
'Cause girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I......that I could stay
Girl you know I've got to go
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone....

Second Half Life Source Condition Zero

So.. Linden's Second Life has been in the news alot lately and I've been reading about it here and there. I'm trying to figure out the allure and all the attention it's been getting. So the short quick description.. it's like playing the Sims.. but with other people.. and with the chance of making or spending *real* money. Now given I would spend money on MMOs like Final Fantasy Online or Phantasy Star Universe etc.. sure, I'm curious about Second Life, but that doesn't mean I'd want to pay for it.. I mean there's no plot to it.. it's not really even a game, its more.. an advanced chat room or a newer version of Sims. Anyway.. just trying to figure out all that. I do think it would be cool to use to chat with family and friends that are far away though. Watch out instant messaging.. this is going to replace you one day.

- D -

PS. It's Saturday.. and I've been in the office since around 9am. Wow. This is the suck.

What exactly do you mean?

It's funny when you look up lyrics for a song and you're like.. oohhhh is that what they say.. I always thought they were saying I am the sun, and the air, which didn't really fit in with the rest of the chorus.. wow learn something everyday I guess. Shaddup I'm tired.. took a nap after I got home from work yesterday.. woke up at 10:30pm and have been up since then. Makes work more interesting when you can barely focus on how to properly drink coffee from a cup. Yes.

And yeah I've been linking whatever songs are in lyrics to sites you can download my song of the day from because.. I can.

---
The Smiths - How Soon is Now (tatu, Snake River Conspiracy and Love Spit Love are among many bands that do a decent cover of this song)

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Oh, of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

There's a club, if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home, and you cry
And you want to die

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
Well, when exactly do you mean ?
See i've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am human and i need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

Somewhere

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over the Rainbow

This railroad

Jack Johnson - Breakdown

I hope this old train breaks down
Then I could take a walk around
And, see what there is to see
And time is just a melody
All the people in the street
Walk as fast as their feet can take them
I just roam through town
And though my windows got a view
The frame I'm looking through
Seems to have no concern for me now

So for now..

I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown

This engine screams out loud
Saying the beat gonna crawl westbound
So I don't even make a sound
Cause its gonna sting me when I leave this town
And all the people in the street
That I'll never get to meet
These tracks dont bend somehow
And I got no time
That I got to get to
Where I don't need to be

So I
I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I wanna break on down
But I can't stop now
Let me break on down

But you cant stop nothing
If you got no control
Of the thoughts in your mind
That you kept in you know
You dont know nothing
But you dont need to know
The wisdoms in the trees
Not the glass windows
You can't stop wishing
If you dont let go
The things that you find
And you lose and you know
You keep on rolling
Put the moment on hold
The frames too bright
So put the blinds down low

I need this here
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I need this here
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I wanna break on down
But I can't stop now

Freaking November...

Guns N Roses - November Rain

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...
on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my
own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...
on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

Well that wasn't expected

It's the strangest thing. I haven't thought about this movie / story in a long time. Earlier today I was speaking to a friend of mine about it. Sure enough when I got home it was on. Certain stories can have an impact on you or stay with you without you even knowing it. There's many of them out there. Stuff from Shakespeare, Dickens, Hawthorne, whatever. Some things you may have been told to read in school growing up, some you randomly stumble upon. Many things make up the person we are today, all I can say is.. try not to forget about the things that make up the core of your being because in the end, the only one that can be held accountable for your thoughts and actions is yourself.

- D -

What are a couple old stories that I still like that may have influenced me?

The Good Earth by Peal Buck
On the Beach by Nevil Shute
Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
----

Mono - Life in Mono (Ingenue)

The stranger sang a theme
from someone else?s dream
the leaves began to fall
and no one spoke at all
but I can?t seem to recall
when you came along
Ingenue

Ingenue
I just don?t know what to do

The tree-lined avenue
begins to fade from view
drowning past regrets
in tea and cigarettes
but I can?t seem to forget
when you came along
Ingenue

Ingenue
I just don?t know what to do

Ingenue
I just don?t know what to do

Grip

Sometimes I wonder why I just post lyrics instead of ya know.. posting stuff. I guess the general feeling / mood / things can be explained by songs sometimes so maybe I'm just lazy and let people get what they want from the lyrics that I posted. Course some days its just what's on repeat while I'm at work and I figure if this song's in my head then damn let's spread the love hehe.
--

Aerosmith - Amazing

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy
To see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' to walk through the pain
And when I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I tought I could leave
But couldn't get out the door
I was so sick n' tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishing that I would die
(Chorus)
It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
It's amazing
That when the moment arrives
You know you'll be alright
It's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
To the desperate hearts tonight
That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And a how high can you fly with broken wings
Life's a journey - not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings
You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen
To all that righteous talk
I was out on the street
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay alive
(Chorus)
"To all of you people out there
Wherever you are - remember:
The light at the end of the tunnel
May be you - goodnight"

The Goonies R Good Nuff

The Goonies Return.... If you're in the Chicagoland area.. or are able to be while this show runs, be sure to check out Sakura's writing debut.

- D -

Tired

Rie Fu is like the Japanese version of Michelle Branch. It's interesting. She sounds like old Michelle Branch before she joined up with what's her name to form 'The Wreckers (Yeah..good band name there). Check out Rie Fu at Wiki download the song these lyrics go to here (Right click and save as)

Rie Fu - Life is Like a Boat (Bleach Closing Theme)

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who's gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day

dooku de iki o shiteru toomei ni natta mitai
kudayami ni omoe dakedo mekaku shisarete tadake

inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

hito no kokoro wa utsuriyuku mukedashiteku naru
tsuki wa mada atarashii shuuki de mune o tsureteku

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along,
I will follow you, and keep you strong

tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku odayakana hi mo
tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de ume o terashidasu

inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

Unmei no huneoko gi nami wa tsugi kara tsuki e to watashi-tachi o sou kedo
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne, dore mo suteki na tabi ne

The Martyr

For the past couple of days Joan has been in the hospital. I'm happy to say today she had her surgery and seems to be recovering just fine.

- D -

PS This song has nothing to do with the news about Joan, I just heard it on the radio the other day and really dig it.

---

Blue October - Hate Me

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

Drink one for..

Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu! to Haruka for yesterday (celebrating this Saturday)

and

Maligayang kaarawan sa iyo! to Donovan today!

The stars can suck it

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)(Aquarius)

If you are seeking inspiration right now, look to the sources of frustration in your life. It might sound counterintuitive, but the stars say that's the right idea. The things that are rubbing you the wrong way are doing so for a very good reason. Discover that reason, and you will find a solution to a growing problem. Fresh ideas are grown out of stale situations, so as soon as you mix things up a bit, a whole new world will open up to you.
--

There's something to be said to working to MC Chris's Fett's Vette on repeat. Mind numbing yet amusing. Donovan was in town over the weekend so we had to gather some of the troops who were in town to go to his fav piano bar. Hmm.. that doesn't really sound right but yeah it's a piano bar and it's pretty fun and oddly filled with a plethora of bachelorette parties.

Some people at work recently got laid off.. though they got severance and got their stock cashed out. That's pretty huge for some people since stock was at the highest it's been in a long time. This one guy who's in his mid 30s can pretty much retire or at least take a couple of years off. Damn.. lucky ass. I think at this point if they offered me 6 months paid I would take the package even without the stocks just so it would force me to either A) Move away from Chicago and/or B) Find a different job that pays well that I enjoy.

Don't feel like writing right now.

Later,

- D -

Damn.. it's October already.

What do you mean it's a game?

http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/72320,CST-NWS-donaldson26.article

WTF.

Being a gamer I can't stand it when people blame crimes on games, rap music, tv and movies. I mean seriously, how can a parent honestly say... yes poor Billy was seduced by the power of Playstation and committed all these crimes. Kids will be kids and are going to play games, listen to music and watch whatever. It should be the responsibility of the freakin parent to make sure their kids aren't out of touch with reality and know the difference of what's right and what's wrong. People need to stop trying to find an excuse for why they've failed as parents and STEP UP!

Grr.

Next thing you know it'll be Christmas

This year's going by a bit to fast for my taste.

---

Seether (Featuring Amy Lee) - Broken

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

[x2]
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

Am I my brutha's keeper

I miss my older cousin from when I was younger.. he was like an older brother to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm lucky to have my older sister eventhough we've had our disagreements here and there, I think just growing up in a house where it was primarily just my mom and my sister, I lacked or missed the older male influence or something. So on the weekends or whatever I would spend at my father's place, I'd hang with my cousin who taught me how to race and introduced me to things that I would only come to appreciate more the closer I got to his age (He was in his early twenties when I was in my early teens). That probably heavily influences why the majority of my male friends were all older than me when I was in highschool and why I try to take on an older brother type of role with some of my closer younger friends. I know how it was to be at a certain age and just not have someone that I could rely on for certain things so I don't want them to go through that themselves.. but hey they're all older now to so it's all good I guess.

I've grown up around drama. I'm starting to understand why the asian channels on cable are comprised of four categories. 1. Martial Aarts. 2. Anime. 3. Cars. 4. Drama. Seriously..

I think I approach life wrong sometimes and have my priorities and responsibilities in the wrong order, but they're in a constant stat of flux so I can't be sure of that. I think its because my father came from money and my mom didn't. So I had a mixed upbringing consisting that can be summed up like... frozen fish sticks vs filet mignon. It leaves me with an understanding of the need to save money but having expensive tastes... it's kind of a wash then.

Best IM Chat today
--
[10:28] B16: finally i can wear my t-shirt that says "tengo un coche grande" and be proud.
[10:30] Lakota214: damn at first i translated that to tengo un coochie grande
[10:30] B16: lol, no
[10:30] B16: i have a big car
--

Long lyrics today. On a sidenote I think it's great how the game Dead or Alive 4 users two Aerosmith songs in it. I mean cmon.. Aermosmith + hot ninja girls and explosions? = WINNER!

To Nong Mee, hope everything went well with your mum's surgery.

-----

Aerosmith - Dream On

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until a dream come true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On

Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away.....

Songs on repeat today

Coldplay - Yellow
Cascada - Everytime We Touch (Slow Version)
Bust a Groove (Kitty N's Song)
Stone Sour - Bother
Fort Minor - Where'd You Go
Stabbing Westward - Save Yourself
Gary Jules - Mad World

Wow.. and after a friend of mine pointed on the date and the upcoming month I suppose in an ironic twist Greenday - Wake Me Up When September Ends will be back on the list as well.
---

Bust a Groove (Kitty N's Song)- partial

I will never, ever run away.
I just can't live without you now,
I'll be here to fight another day,
Gonna see you blink no matter how.
I will never, ever run away,
I'll be here to fight another day.
I will make you realize,
I'll always be right by your side.
Now our love is sanctified,
I'm here to Bust A Groove.

Managing Production

Yes, I'm still alive. Amusingly it took me a couple of tries to log onto blogspot since I haven't posted in awhile.. awesome.

So since the last post which was over a month ago now.. what key things of importance have happened.. hell I have no clue I barely remember last week.

I don't really have anything witty to write about right now and I don't want to say certain things are highlites because I think if I wrote down what I thought was a highlite in life right now, it would probably depress me.

The new place is going pretty good. Still need to unpack and buy a dining room table for ya know.. the dining room. Of course the first room that was up and functional would be the living room with the TV and the primary home computer. Go figure. I need to get some stuff updated for my car and payoff some tickets. I think right now if I parked my car in certain places it would probably get booted. Doh. But hey I take the train to and from work everyday so I just haven't thought of taking care of all that yet. That and it's money sooo yeah that can wait a little.

Summer is pretty much officially over so no more halfday Fridays from work every other Friday, not that I really got to take advantage of that but that's fine. Glad there's no more heat waves though. I'll take winter over summer any day. What can I say I was born in February and raised in the Midwest.

Yeah so there's a little rambling to appease the masses for now or at least the handful of people who read this. I'll try to write something with substance when I can just haven't really.. been with it lately. Damn. I miss days of playing Lazer Tag and giving out free games of mini-golf hehe.

Journey to find the Def Leppard completed

Well. Damn. Had this long post up and then I got owned by blogspot and lost it.. awesome.

Recap. Concert was great, epic for some of us ok just one of us that went but still. Always remember where you park.. driving in the right direction is a good idea and if you're planning on meeting someone at a concert.. plan ahead instead of trying to call eachother on cell phones over the music.. yes.

----
This song has been keeping me awake.. Im freakin tired right now

Bust A Groove - Kitty N's song (excerpt)

I will never, ever run away,
I'll be here to fight another day.
I will make you realize,
I'll always be right by your side.
Now our love is sanctified,
I'm here to Bust A Groove.