Big Ball of Fire !

Wow. Long post.. INCOMING!

So let's see. I haven't been at work since last Friday since we had July 4th and all that and yesterday I had to take off to take care of some stuff with the new apartment.

First I have to start with things so far this morning.. As I was driving into work either it was due to not enough sleep or just being so used to cloudy days, but something caught the corner of my eye and it was a bright light. For a moment, I started to freak out and was like.. what the hell is that big ball of light to my left?!?!... Yeah. Ok. So it was the sun, and it was in fact, not, coming right at me. Doh.

Then I'm sitting here at my desk with my headphones in my ear. I'd say almost an hour later I notice.. hey... there's no music playing. Groan.

Ok. Back to reality. I'm trying to get caught up on email both work and personal. Internet and cable were hooked up yesterday at home. Yay ! ^_^

Recently a friend of mine overseas just had some surgery. Nong Soi, glad you're ok and uhh have all the parts that should be inside you, well.. inside! When you coming back to the States already?

Tallulah is in a new show that opens this Friday dun dun dunnnnnnn. Hit me up for details if you need em.

Also, another friend of mine is going through some Cancer stuff right now. Let me know if I can do anything to help Nauds.

Ok back on to the drama at the new apartment. So alot of stuff was broken when Haruka and I moved in. Screens needed to be replaced uhhh dishwasher didn't work etc. Anyway, this uber maintenance guy came yesterday and fixed alot of stuff. That's a good thing. I had to go to the management office to get the remote to my parking lot that opens the gate... Yes.. I had to get out of my parking lot to which I did not have a remote to open the gate to. Awesome. So I do have to say among the home improvements that were made, I give props to the person who invented the almighty circuit breaker. There were a couple of light switches that were upside down. Sure maybe I'm a little anal or something but that just urks me. Soooooo I decided to flip them. Now sure I know I *should* have turned off all the electricity FIRST, but I wanted to keep the A/C on. Yeah. My bad on that. As I was flipping the kitchen light switch.. SPARK! Loud POP! Me, jumping back and making sure all my body parts were still intact. Lights in the kitchen.. go off. Hehehhehe. Then the cable guy that was there installing my stuff was like.. hey can I get a signature while you're still alive? .. DOH! Needless to say, the circuits were shut off and I finished my work successfully without BBQing myself. I RAWK!

Ok I should get back to work before someone figures out I haven't done a single productive work-related thing in the hour I've been here so far.

Ciao

- D -

----

FF VIII - Eyes on Me

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I want to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I love your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then I will know
that you are no dreamer

Lost in the Fog

Ok today we are going to talk about sleep deprivation

All information taken from http://www.postgradmed.com

What is sleep deprivation?
Many Americans don't get enough sleep to remain healthy and feel alert during the day. Recent studies have shown that Americans sleep an average of 7 hours each night rather than the 8 hours recommended by sleep experts.

People who work long hours, those who have a hectic family schedule or a new baby, teens who stay up late and have to get up early for school, and even people whose pets sleep with them may get less sleep than their body needs to be at its best. Over time, this lack of sleep, also called sleep deprivation, can have serious effects on health and relationships. It may even be deadly

What are the effects of sleep deprivation?
It isn't clear why we need sleep, but we do know that sleep is as important as food and water. Some experts think sleep helps the brain recharge its energy and store memories for the long term. Sleep also seems to help the body fight off infection.

People who don't get enough sleep may lack energy, be depressed or irritable, have trouble remembering everyday things, and get sick more often than people who get enough sleep. They seem to age faster and they may have problems concentrating at work or school. Some scientists believe a lack of sleep may have a role in diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, and even obesity.

Poor sleep also leads to accidents. More than 200,000 auto accidents happen each year because drivers fall asleep at the wheel. The 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill was at least partially caused by the actions of a tired tanker operator.

On the other hand, too much sleep can be as harmful as too little. Recent studies have shown that adults who get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night live longer and are less likely to get heart disease than those who sleep less or more.

Sleep habits for a good night's rest
Stay away from caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol, particularly later in the day.

Have a light snack (but avoid eating a large meal) shortly before bedtime.

Go to bed and get up at the same times each day, even on weekends.

Get regular exercise early in the day.

Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. A fan or soft music can help disguise
distracting bedtime noise.

Use your bed for only sleep and sex.

Before bedtime, do muscle-relaxing exercises or take a warm bath.

Don't take sleeping pills unless your doctor prescribes them.

Avoid daytime naps unless they last less than 1 hour and are taken before 3 PM.

Try counting sheep or counting backward, which can lull some people to sleep.

If you lie in bed awake for more than 30 minutes, get up, go to a different room
and read or watch television, and return to bed when you feel sleepy.

Misery loves company.. and electricity

So the annual let's move apartments because it's fun is over. A nice start at about 9am. Finish time? 12:30am. Went to sleep time 2:45am. Wake up time 4:45am. Yes.. I'm freaking cracked out right now. So lets break it down.

The movers themselves were good guys and got stuff done however it went from.. move time of mid afternoon, late evening, morning, late afternoon, back to around noon. I was just like.. awesome guys make up your minds. I hope the lady that screwed those guys up schedule wise gets charged with a "You're Stupid" fee.

So whatev, all the stuff was moved to the new place and during the course of all this I find out.. no electricity there sucker!
...
So I call Com Ed (We don't use no PG&E here!) and they tell me.. it'll be on between 1 and 3 days. That's such a CRAP answer. That's like threatening someone and saying.. dude, I will kick your ass! ... sometime in the near future.

Besides that.. the management company of the apartment building hasn't fixed certain things.. like the BIG ASS HOLES in the window screens. And what do I find the moment I walk in? Oh look.. the windows are all open... this leads to.. oh look.. there's freaking bugs on the walls / flying around. I was more than a bit annoyed by this point. They insist they have 10 days to fix everything that's wrong with the apartment. I insist if within 10 days not everything is fixed I'm going to firebomb their office, rape their horses and ride off on the women! (The fiery singing bush told me to do so)

So we're crashing at Panda Thug's house who lives not close to the city. Again. awesome.

Why is it never easy? I mean seriously. I must have had to been a GIANT ASSHOLE that just constantly shat on people in a former lifetime or something. Well ew. Now I have a gross visual. Oh AND.. I got a ticket yesterday because my dumbass hasn't gotten a new sticker for my license plate. Awesome.

I'm surprised a freaking asteroid didn't hit the planet yesterday. Course it would only hit the spot I'm in probably.

And F this heatwave we're having here. I'd rather be on a beach enjoying a cool sea breeze and listening to the waves crashing with the lighthouse running in the background. (Yes, I'd take that scene over a sunny hot beach with half nekkid women running around) (No, I am in fact not gay even if I do live near 'Boys Town')

Of course being off work a day, I come back today and just get bombarded leaving me with the feeling of just getting bitchslapped by a midget in high heels. Awesome. Good Job. Well Played. Then a coworker asks me when I'm going back to school. Just damn.

I'm going to see if I survive the rest of the day.

Holla.

- D -
---

Puddle of Mudd - Blurry

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i'll protect you
from all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
there's noone left that's real
to make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Yawn

Yesterday was Panda Thug's Bday. Around 12:30am or so two of his friends from LA, two cousins, another friend and I hit Chinatown. Actually they hit there while I was at home watching a movie but I met up with them. I can say had it not been his birthday I'd of stayed my ass at home and slept.

Finally made a compilation of the music I picked up when I was in LA last. New CD now available hehe. I dub thee 'Trance Trance Revolution!'

If these people dont mail me back about my move-in date for the apartment today I'm going to have to chew bubble gum and kick ass at their office tonight. Most the corporate office at work today is at the summer outing. Of course some of us have to stay behind to ya know.. provide support and all that. Damn. Feel like a cheap push up bra. Not even the sweet silky lacy kind with the strap.. er... nevermind.

I'll write more if I wake up I'm damned tired hehe.

- D -

---
From the 'Trance Trance Revolution!'

The Second You Sleep (Version by Tess)

You close your eyes
And leave me naked by your side
You close the door so I can't see, the love you keep inside
The love you keep for me
It fills me up
It feels like living in a dream
It fills me up so I can't see
The love you keep inside
The love you keep for me
I stay to watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
It gives me time to stay, to watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
I wish by God you'd stay

I stay awake
I stay awake and watch you breathe
I stay awake and watch you fly, away into the night
Escaping through a dream

I stay to watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
It gives me time to stay
To watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you'll be gone
I wish by God you'd stay

Yes Yes I know

Hoy,

I know I haven't updated much as of late but things have been busy. Between work and finding a place to live.. just damn.

Ok so a couple of things.

First, Congrats to Haruka for landing a sweet job that pays decent and more importantly gives me a FREE parking spot a block away from my job woot! Free parking for the win!

Next, the new apartment has been located. It's a nice 2 bedroom apartment with hardwood floors throughout etc and a nice big patio on the ground level for BBQs! Now if those bastards would just mail me back I could find out when the move in date is so I can schedule movers...haters.

The boyz and uhh girl, came in from the West Coast, and well from all over, for the work IT Conference we had. That was dope to hang with some of mah boyz though I have to say those LA guys can corrupt you within minutes. One day you'll be a fine church going boy like I was (pfft), the next thing you know you'll be ready to swipe your credit card between some random girl's breasts (no i didn't do that), but you get the idea. Oh and also.. they thought they had game when it came to Street Fighter. All I can say is... Chicago Represent! .. owned.

Over the weekend I decided to throw an impromptu BBQ at Panda Thug's house. It was pretty dope. Lots of food, lots of alcohol. I got to see some of the boyz I haven't seen for a long time now to. Everyone there could agree that the highlite was when Shakespeare managed to fall forward and flat on his chest (almost his face) while sitting on the railing of the deck we were on. That had to have been the funniest thing I've ever seen and I can only wish we had it on video because you couldn't have planned that better. Then you had Panda thug trying to give Donovan advice on how to schmooze women (Donovan needs no advice whatsoever Mr I have fitty girls on speed dial just damn). Panda's contribution? "You need to throw down some Hershey's Kisses and be like BAM I kiss the ground you walk on!!!!"... Yeah the rest of us laughed as well ^_^

This weekend Tallulah and Nightingale are having a joint Birthday party. I should be able to make it to that depending on that whole moving thing.

Ok.. I'll post more later I don't even have the time to be witty right now!

Holla Back,

- D -

-----

NIN - We're In This Together Now

you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow

you and me
if the world should break in two
until the very end of me
until the very end of you

all that we were is gone we have to hold
all that we were is gone we have to hold
when all our hope is gone we have to hold
all that we were is gone but we can hold on

And it only Monday?

First and foremost,

Happy Birthday Tallulah!
Welcome to the ranks of 25 and up where you will enjoy lower car rental prices and... and... huh.. I'm not really sure what else an advantage of being 25 is oh well Happy Birthday regardless.

So lets see... over the weekend my boss had a wedding in Madison, IN. Now let me tell you something. If you are of the... not white ethnicity, I don't recommend this part of the world. One of my friends who was there, he and his wife whom are both Chinese walked into a restaurant and everyone stopped to look at them... yes. It was a step up from having to throw down with some lamers in white hoods. I also got a speeding ticket on the way down there. 97mph in a 65. Luckily he didn't clock me when i was at 110+mph. DOH. Least he didn't mark me for reckless driving that would have made the ticket even more expensive.

Other big news.. I originally thought that I had until August to find a new place to live. I was hoping by then to have some money saved up for a down payment, maybe get a condo or a town house or something.. Yeah. I received a phone call from my landlord on Friday and she was like.. Do you want to extend your lease? I said not so much, and she informed me my lease was up on the END OF THE MONTH... CRAP!!! Bother. I'm just going to move to the mountains and become a hobbit (yes, I know it's hermit).

Gotta get back to work, another boss told me this was my "time to shine," which for the non corporate slaves I'll translate. It means I have to work even more hours and try to forget all about that thing called 'social life', or 'sleep'. Awesome.

Holla Back.

- D -

----

Knockin' On Heaven's Door - Avril Lavigne version (Bob Dylan-Original)

Momma take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore
It's getting dark, too dark to see
Feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

Momma put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
That long black cloud is coming down
I Feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door
Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door

Keep Rollin

Leonard Cohen - Everybody Knows

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died

Everybody talking to their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
And a long stem rose
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

And everybody knows that it's now or never
Everybody knows that it's me or you
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah when you've done a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton
For your ribbons and bows
And everybody knows

And everybody knows that the Plague is coming
Everybody knows that it's moving fast
Everybody knows that the naked man and woman
Are just a shining artifact of the past
Everybody knows the scene is dead
But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose
What everybody knows

And everybody knows that you're in trouble
Everybody knows what you've been through
From the bloody cross on top of Calvary
To the beach of Malibu
Everybody knows it's coming apart
Take one last look at this Sacred Heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Nada mucho

Huh.. long weekend, that was nice. Short work week, that's nice. Have to go to my boss's wedding this coming weekend in Indiana. I should probably make a hotel reservation or something ^_^

I can think of absolutely nothing interesting to post right now. I need to clean and do laundry tonight. Yes. Bought a game over the weekend and beat it in like 5 hours. That was both satisfying and sad at the same time.

Sometime in the next couple of weeks I should be in a meeting to discuss if I'm going to get more money at work or not... we'll see how that goes.

I'll post when I can think of something witty and interesting.

- D -

------
Dream On - Aerosmith

Every time that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life's in books' written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me sing for the years
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
Sing with me if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

Dream on dream on dream on
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on dream on dream on
Dream until your dream comes true
Dream on dream on dream on dream on
Dream on dream on dream on yeah

I am invincible! Oh wait, I'm not

The word of the day is brought to you by Tallulah.

un·wield·y
adj. un·wield·i·er, un·wield·i·est
Difficult to carry or manage because of size, shape, weight, or complexity: an unwieldy parcel.

Here. Let me give you an example.

"Dhavid.. don't carry that papasan chair down the stairs of utter doom and suffering, it's unwieldy".

Hold on.. let me pop some more advil.

Mmmmm advil..

So 1/3 of this project at work that's been beating me like cheap illegal labor was finished at 3:30am last night. Now.. for the rest of it. It makes me sad when people on the same team as me do less work and get paid the same if not more. Let alone fuckers who sit there and play games on Yahoo all day... lucky this isn't a post office!

Plans for the weekend? Meh. Supposed to meet up with some people at Dave and Buster's tomorrow and play some Battletech. Blowing stuff up is always fun. Maybe sleep, that would be awesome. And maybe some WoW.. it's been years since I played last hehe.

Sunday I gotta pick up lil bro from the airport. At some point Haruka and I need to go to Mitsuwa to buy Mr. Konami USA some Japanese alcohol in thanks for getting us into E3 and to try and bribe my way into a job there... yes.

Ok I should do some work and take more drugs.

Later,

- D -

No song right now can't find one I want to listen to.

I came. I saw. I went to sleep.

First off. No links in this post. Sorry. I'm tired.

I think contrary to the phrase of hit the ground running, when Haruka and I got back from California on Monday, I've "hit the ground while dragging my knees until they're bloody".

The trip itself was good. E3 was great. Lots of pretty flashing lights, video games, and half nekkid women dressed up like video game characters or like strippers who couldn't get a job at the local Hooters. Universal studios was good but trying to fit everything into one day just isn't possible so sadly we missed a couple of things. I have to say 'The Mummy' ride was pretty freaking awesome. First you sit down and you're just like la la la twiddle twiddle then all of the sudden ZOOM ZOOM! It's like someone hit the Nitro button and you just launch. After some twists and turns you stop.. wait for it.. then zoom zoom again but backwards! The end of the ride is straight outta Batman. The floor rotates and turns your cart in a 180 and you go back to the start to unload. Nice. Chinatown and Little Tokyo was great. Little Tokyo had a store that was full of anime type o stuff. Oddly I didn't buy anything. Chinatown was hilarious, there was a cart with stuff on it and the lady working it was not Chinese but Thai. So me trying to take advantage of this asked how much some stuff was in Thai.. her response was like normally its this much.. but since you're Thai HALF OFF! Woot! Taking advantage of your culture and heritage that you had absolutely no part of choosing is awesome. We also stopped in Santa Monica before going to the airport.. it was nice.. the ocean.. waves.. and I dunno why but alot of baby squirrels running around.. it was like Watership Down.. but with squirrels instead??

Getting back was a joy. We missed our scheduled flight at 6pm which would have gotten us back to Chicago around midnight. Instead we were lucky to hop on the red eye flight back. Land in Chicago around 5 something, get back home around 6 something, pass out for an hour or two (longer than I should have), then went to work. Since then everything's been a blur.

Work is killng me. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Work is killing me. Last night I helped Tallulah move some stuff to her new apartment. It looks nice. It's sad, I think her place is almost bigger than mine if not and shes paying waaaaay less than I am. Boy I can't wait till my lease is up in August... After helping her move stuff, Panda Thug and Donovan called to say they were heading over. So we all met up and went to Chinatown for dinner around 10 or 11 something. Awesome. PT needed a ride to the airport this morning. Wouldn't you know he was on the 6am flight. Good job. /slap. After dropping him off I came straight to work. So I was sitting at my desk at 5:45am and started plugging away. Having deadlines is good and bad. Good when you meet them, bad when you feel like you're working more than you're sleeping.

What the hell I'm running on empty, after all that stuff last night / this morning I ended up with an hour of sleep. I need to just start an IV of redbull... just stick it in my veins! Meh. I'll write more when I get a minute and am a lil more coherent.

- D -

PS. When a girl speaks another language it's pretty great. I'm the kind of guy that can sit there while being cursed at in a foreign language that would smile and nod as long as whatever was being said was said in a nice tone with a smile... aka I'm a sucker.
---

Veni Vidi Vici - Alizee

Un zeste de félicité
Un tempérament qui fait rire
Parce que tout peut bien arriver,
Le temps nous dit c'est plus facile
Si on met:

Un zeste de citron dans l'eau
Changer de goût sans changer l'hydre
La vie est belle pimentée, corsée
La vie qui pique
Qui pousse comme un champs de blé

Veni, Vedi, Vici
C'est de la chance aussi
Tout petit à petit
L'oiseau qui fait son nid, douillet
Veni, Vedi, Vici
Ma bonne étoile luit, je n'ai
Pas de mea culpa
J'suis bien là et j'aime ça

Un zeste de féminité
Sur un corps-puce de gamine
Les langues sont facilitées, juré
Le latin je l'aime en chemise,

Un zeste de balbutiements
Quand je me dis: tout va trop vite
C'est là que veillent les mamans, j'entends
Au loin les cloches de la ville,
Vive le vent….

Cali forn i a

Huh. So looks like Haruka and I are off to Cali. The City of Angels. The home of those raisins that couldn't get on American Idol if the tried.

Anyway, we're going to E3 courtesy of the President of Konami USA.. sweet. Apparently Haruka's mum is friends with the guy and he hooked us up.. and said yeah have Dhavid forward me a copy of his resume (albeit he probably said that in not so perfect English). I'm also going to see a friend of mine who works for Bandai. You'd think between these two I could get a job in the video game industry. So what if I can't program or anything.. let me fix computers or lead projects or or go to meetings all day just so when I got off work I could be like.. yeah.. I work for Konami.. or yeah I work for Bandai, suck it down.

Not really sure how much internet access I'll have while I'm out of town, though I am taking my Nextel and my work laptop with me just in case. And the not so 5 star place we're staying at should have an internet connection for me as well.

So my shoulders have been a bit sore lately so Haruka kept insisting I use this stuff her Dad uses. (that mean I'm old?) The stuff is called Salonpas . It's interesting.. they're these sticky pads that you peel and stick to your skin. Then, it gets really hot. I'm still debating if it makes me less sore, or it just makes me go... what the hell Taaaastes Like Buuuuuurning!

Last weekend I went to see Tallulah in a skit she was in. Sadly for me, it was a part of "Estrogen Fest". I'll admit, there were are few minutes of panic wondering if I was going to have to fend off man hating women with large sharp objects. Fortunately it turned out to be not that kind of show. I feel empowered now... or something.

Time to go home, clean, do more work, pack and hopefully take a nap.

Ciao,

- D -

Stalk Stalk Stalk

I love how people play this song at weddings and such.
It's not romantic. It's not sappy. It's about a freaking
Stalker damn you.

Every Breath You Take - The Police

Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I’ll be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay
I’ll be watching you

Oh, can’t you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake
I’ll be watching you

Since you’ve gone I’ve been lost without a trace
I dream at night, I can only see your face
I look around, but it’s you I can’t replace
I feel so cold, and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please,
Oh, can’t you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake
I’ll be watching you
Every move you make, every step you take
I’ll be watching you
I’ll be watching you

Island In The Sun

From Donovan's blog. Interesting questions.

Name: Dhavid
Piercings: Three. Mid left ear.
Tattoos: None yet, want one on the back of my lower neck / upper back area.
Height: 5'7"
Shoe size: 12 or 13
Hair color: Black
Sibling(s): One sister, 4 adopted brothers.

Do
You have a crush on someone: Yes
You wish you could live somewhere else: Yes. Australia
You think about suicide: Yes, but on an phillosophical / intellectual level. I wouldn't do it.
You want more piercings: If I didnt have to be corporate, I'd get my eyebrow pierced.
You like cleaning: No. But I hate scummy things more.
You like roller coasters: I like the speed. I don't like the height.
Write in cursive or print: I print everything. My writing sucks. I type fast.

FOR OR AGAINST
Long distance relationships: Yes. Depends.
Killing people: Only in self defense or the defense of innocent lives.
Suicide: Against
Teenage smoking: Against but not hardcore against. Teenagers do that kind of stuff.
Driving drunk: Against. No. Just. No.
Gay/Lesbians: For. Anyone who judges you on your sexual preference should pour some baby powder on their hands, then slap themselves.
Soap Opreas: Against... though some of the things I watch could be considerd soap operas. None of that Days of Our Lives crap though.

HAVE YOU
Ever cried over a girl: Yes
Ever cried over a boy: No
Ever been in a fight: Yes
Ever been arrested: No er Yes.. er.. do juvenile records count? And when you say arrested does riding in the back of a squad car count as arrested if you aren't in handcuffs? ... I plead the fif.. F-I-F.. 5th.

WHAT
Shampoo do you use: American Crew
Shoes do you wear: Sketchers, Nikes, Sandals.
Are you scared of death: At times yes, but more scared of the thought of not being around to be there for people.

NUMBER
Of times you have been in love: Puppy love? More than a couple. What I thought was real? More often than not. Unrequited? Once or twice
Of time you have had your heart broken: It's always been broken.
Of hearts I have broken: One?
Of girls you've kissed: 15 or less I think
Of girls you've slept with: 7. Though looking back some of the 7 I'm just like.. the hell was I thinking.
Of guys you've kissed: Zero
Of guys you've slept with: Zero
Of people you would classify as true, could trust your life with type of friend: 10? or maybe I'm to trusting.
Of scars on your soul: More than a couple.
Of scars on your body: See previous answer. Most distingushing scar, left arm near the wrist.
Of things in your past that you regret: School. Relationships. Jobs. Decisions in general that I've made.

FAVORITE
4 letter word: home
Actor/Actress: Tallulah
Cartoon: I watch anime like it's my job. Raxhephon, Lodoss Wars, Evangelion, Gundam Seed, Full Metal Alchemist, Ghost in the Shell, are some of my favs.
Cereal: Cinnamon Life
Chewing gum: Orbit. The light blue one.
Color(s): Sony blue. Silver. Black.
Nail polish: Black or Silver. Not that I wear nail polish on a daily basis...
Day of week: Sunday.
Flower: Sakura (Cherry Blossom), Orchids, Recently Tulips have made the list.
Jello flavor: Is 'Red' a flavor?
Jewelry: Black and Silver Bracelet, Black and Silver Kenneth Cole watch, three silver earrings. Not sure where the rest of my stuff went.
Fall/Spring: Fall
Trampolines or swimming pools: Swimming pool

WHO LAST
Slept in your bed: Me and Haruka
Saw you cry: I don't remember the last time I cried. Probably Joan
Made you cry: I can't answer that
Yelled at you: Huh... yes.

HAVE YOU EVER
Said "I love you" and meant it: Yes
Gone out in public in your pajamas: Under my jeans or as my tshirt sure
Kept a secret from everyone: Yes
At anytime owned new kids on the block stuff: No
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: No. Thats what Tivo's for.
Been on stage: You could say that
Been to New York: Sigh. Not yet.
California: Yes
Hawaii: No
China: No
Canada: Yes
Europe: No
Asia: Yes
Australia: Sadly No
South America: No
Puerto Rico: No
Wished your were the opposite sex: No
What time is it now: 5:24p.m.(Central)
Apples or bananas: b-a-n a-n-a-s.
Walmart or Target: Target
What are you gonna do after you finish this: Going to a Cubs Game
Are you bored: No, just sleepy.
Last noise you heard: Other people talking and the mp3s playing on my laptop.

Um. What?

Your brain: 160% interpersonal, 100% visual, 60% verbal, and 80% mathematical!

Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers.

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:


Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 97% on interpersonal
You scored higher than 73% on visual
You scored higher than 65% on verbal
You scored higher than 63% on mathematical

----

Someone else go take this test. It confuses me.

The 4-Variable IQ Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15273633770079357960

Danger! Danger Will Robinson!

From my desk at work I can see into my manager's office. He has this life size color cardboard cut out of Robot from the original TV series Lost in Space. It's really amusing to me, probably because I grew up watching all the campy cheesy sci fi shows as a kid.

Family Guy is back on the air haha. I thought it was great the first two minutes how Peter just went through a list of all the shows that Fox cancelled. It's basically a passive Fuck You! One of the greatest ways to insult someone to me, is to insult them with a smile without them even knowing it. Kind of like when you get the jackass person on the phone that doesn't know what they're doing and you say "I'm sorry, you must be new." Hehe.

This guy at work the other day was like, I'm going to give you some advice. Just the thought of him giving me any legitimate advice based on anything other than personal experience or the experience of someone in a rap video amused me... but anyway, he says to me.. If it's not obtainable, make sure it's maintainable. I just kinda smirked and was like... well ok then.

I'm trying to get over this being sick thing right now since it's finally starting to warm up outside.

Damn. I'm tired.

----

Offspring - What Happened to You

I can draw a little picture
Or even use my hands
I try to explain but you just don't understand
Man you're really losin' it
And you've really done a lot of junk now
But you keep on abusin' it
What in the world happened to you
It's bad enough you do it to yourself
But taking someone with you
Well you know that's something else
I say I'm not that kind of person
I'm not that kind of man
I try to explain but you just don't understand
I might be sympathetic or cut a little slack
If I thought that you were willing to give a little back
But you do it in the morning
You do it in the night
You lie to refrain from just facing your life
So I'll see you tomorrow
You'll be gackin' up again
I'll see you in a coffin by the time your wad is spent
I think of all the times that I tried to lend a hand
I try to explain but you just don't understand

Like stepping on a twig

No time to post right now. Trying to catch up with work. I've been out here and there this week. Long story. Song of the day explains most of it.

- D -

----

Linkin Park - One Step Closer

I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway

Just like before...

[chours:]
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again

Just like before

Leading Lady

Congrats to Tallulah!

Company member?
The Lead with your own understudy?
Parts that people can't see anyone else in?

You have arrived

- D -

Edward Nigma

If my loyalties were iron beams,
would they bend under tremendous wieght?

If my love were made of light,
would it be a warm glow, or a fiery blaze?

If my dreams turned into nightmares,
would that be an improvement?

If my sadness controlled the weather,
would I need to go build an arc?

If I could focus all of my rage into one word,
what would that one word be?

If I filled a room with my insecurities,
would I need a warehouse?

If I gave a name to all the things I hated,
would it be the name of a person?

If my life is just a series of questions,
what are the answers that are waiting for me?

It's Never Easy

Hell of a weekend.

Doh. Just checked my Lottery numbers. Someone forgot to tell these people that I need to win. Sure I don't meet the criteria of

1. Already Rich
2. Illegal Alien
3. On my deathbed

But I'd still like to win :( Quite honestly though, I know most of my friends know if I ever came into a large sum of money like that, pfft, everyone would be hooked up. Well, cept for those slacker friends that only call when they want something. I guess those people aren't really friends.

Watched a creepy Korean horror flick last night called A Tale of Two Sisters. It's not so much horror as it is a mystery but its creepy nonetheless. Haruka and I at first were like.. wtf is this? But after watching it again with the commentary turned on and looking it up on a couple of sites, turns out the movie was actually pretty deep and worth rewatching. Watched Elektra to. It was.. aight. Not bad, but not ohmigod dis is teh shiznit either. (I try to cater to all levels of grammar and IQ)

So people have asked here and there.. how come you haven't posted about Haruka much as of late? Mainly, I had decided that things between Haruka and I should stay off of this public forum as it would be like the concept of 'kiss and tell'. So... yeah.

The Museum of Science and Industry has a great exhibit going on right now about.. Video Games! Game On goes through the history and culture of video games... whatever, the point is you get to go there and play some video games you grew up on (Bubble Bobble!, Gradius!, Street Fighter!), on all these old systems. One thing that was very disappointing though is that there was no presence of first person shooter games. I understand that older people are.. stupid, and feel that they are to violent and such but let's be honest... If you're going to have a freaking exhibit about VIDEO GAMES, you should at least have a copy of Doom on hand.. Slackers.

The Museum also had an exhibit which I refused to go see called Bodyworlds. I'm all fine for learning about the human body and all that.. but I don't like the fact that this exhibit uses REAL human beings, or at least their bodies that were donated to science. Donated to science.. to me if I donate my body to science, I would hope they would use it to cure some disease or something of that level, not in fact to be displayed in random poses such as, running with a basketball, jumping a hurdle, or shooting a bow and arrow.

Mmmm personal beliefs... good to have em. I highly recommend if you don't have any to pick some up. Personal beliefs are like one of those Neo Pets. You get to raise one from infancy, make sure you feed it with your ideas and efforts, and in the end you get to see if you did a good job raising it or not.

I'm still waiting to hear if I'm going to be able to go to E3 or not. My hookup for tickets is moving slow. Slow like the rate his company pumps out new games... doh.

Hrm.. I should get back to work. It's hella annoying. If i don't do work on the weekends, I'm overworked on the weekdays. I don't think it's supposed to work like that. Australia is looking better everyday.

- D -

---

Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm

Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what i choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

Muses and Angels

Most people that know me know I have a thing for songs sung by women. I don't know how many remakes of songs I've liked just because it's sung by a female vocalist. I think there's probably some deeper psychological reasons for this but I probably attribute it most for growing up in a house with just my mom and my sister, and growin up in an Asian family where the emotional displays of affection rival those of a vulcan on prozac. Not really sure if I'm happy I'm using a Star Trek reference there but hey whatever works.

Donovan leaves for school in AZ in August. I'm totally happy for him but of course sad to see him go. Meh, just means I have another place I can jet off to when I need an emergency get away. Just this one would be involving warm weather and hot coeds. Interesting.

Work still is rough. I used the analogy the other day with one of my bosses, "You guys told me to build a house, gave me some wood and some nails but no hammer." He laughed and nodded...

Crap gotta run to a meeting, will post more later.

These are the words that ring in my head with the clear sound of her voice when I'm feeling a little... off. What am I, a teenage girl? DOH!

---

Michelle Branch - All You Wanted

I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away

I didn’t know that it was so cold
And you needed someone
To show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the tide comes
I’d take you away

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
Was somebody who cares

I’m sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you’re gone

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
Was somebody who cares

All you wanted was somebody who cares
If you need me you know I’ll be there
Oh, yeah

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
Was somebody who cares

Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you’re gone

Are you kidding me?

Ever wake up and have one of those god awful mornings where you just want to say fuck it and go back to sleep regardless of if people are talking to you or blowing up your phone etc? Yeah..

So last night was cool. Took Tallulah to an audition for a random movie that's being shot in Chi. Auditions were at the University of Chicago and ya know.. I never realized how pimped out that school is. It was like walking into some old school mansion. It kind of makes me sad the whole not having done that going away to college thing when I was a snot nosed punk ( I don't really understand why someone being snot nosed has any bearing on well.. anything). Ah well. Whatever. At least I have a job and I'm getting paid more than most, well some college grads. If I ever get some time to breathe from work I need to get back to going to school.

I need to work on getting a new passport as soon as possible. Sometime before September this year I *WILL* be going to Japan. Why you ask? Because of this! -> 2005 Aichi Expo. When I was growing up among my random dreams of being a jet pilot, or a Jedi, I really wanted to go to a World's Fair. Being that Chicago had one a long long time ago it made me want to go even more. So finding out that they don't really have them anymore when I was a kid made me pretty sad, but then I hear about this and I'm just like.. whoa. So I don't care who goes with me, hell, I'll go myself if I have to but this is going to happen damn it!

Ok. I need to get back to work now. I'm behind on a project or three =(

Also, for those that know me well enough you can tell what kind of day it is by this.
-----

Stabbing Westward - Save Yourself

I know your life is empty
And you hate to face this world alone
So you're searching for an angel
Someone who can make you whole
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

I know that you've been damaged
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you
I am just as fucked as you
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me

My life has been a nightmare
My soul is fractured to the bone
And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone
I think I'd rather be alone

You can not save me
You can't even save yourself
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
Save yourself
So just save yourself

Recent Flicks

Oh I forgot, I've been watching a bunch of movies lately.

Sin City was pretty damn cool. Long, but overall pretty good.

Last night I saw THE funniest kung fu flick ever. This director Stephen Chow is a genius hehe.. check out Kung Fu Hustle if you get a chance its hilarious yet the fight scenes were pretty badass. He's the same guy who did Shaolin Soccer

As far as Japanese movies goes I recently watched Red Shadow and Azumi. Both of which I liked alot. Red Shadow was funny while Azumi was cool simply cuz I mean cmon.. cute asian girl with a samurai sword.. woot! I also saw Steam Boy, which ya know.. if people don't know you're talking about an anime..that's bad to yell out ," Yeah! tonight I'm gonna go see Steam Boy!"

---

Finger Elven - One Thing

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It’s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line

If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something

I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time

Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

From the top to the bottom

Hoy,

So it's been a looooong time since I've posted. My bad for that but work work work and more work. I thought it was supposed to be Work Hard and Play Hard. Not Work Hard and play when you aren't feeling guilty for doing so.. doh!

Let's see what's been going on since last..

Props to Donovan and Kayla. *sniff* He makes me so proud =)

I'm talking to my sister again after a couple years hiatus.. that's going pretty well.

I have absolutely nothing witty or interesting to talk about this late in the day after wrecking my brain on boring IT Corporate stuff so I'll just jump on the bandwagon and fill this out. I blame Tallulah and Donovan.. and Rachy.. yes.

----

A - Age you got your first kiss: Uhh..this question makes me feel old. 14 or 15
B - Band listening to right now: Right now its quiet.. it's kind of nice.
C - Crush: I feel I don't need to answer this question.
D - Dad's name: Assh.. er.. Nunthavit
E - Easiest person to talk to: Strangers that don't know you or have any preconcieved opinions of you.
F - Favorite bands at the moment: Varies on my mood. Linkin Park/Stabbing Westward. Dido. Random techno / ravey music
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: I like those gummy strawberries more myself.
H - Hometown: I get to claim Hillside AND Chicago
I - Instruments: I'd like to learn piano and clarinent. Currently the only instrument I can play well is an X-Box controller.
J- Junior High: Saint Domitilla
K - Kids: None... that I know of! dun dun dun....
L - Longest car ride ever: Driving to Scranton, PA.. ohmigod I can't believe I didn't die in a fiery car crash any of the times I made that drive.
M - Mom's name: Viparwon
N - Nicknames: Chino (my sis calls me that). Don't really have any other nicknames that I acknowledge. People tend to call me Matt because THEY'RE STUPID...
P - Phobia[s]: Failing and disappointing certain people.
Q - Quote: "What the hell?"
R - Reason to smile: The thought of running away to Australia with someone
S - Song you sang last: Finger Eleven - One Thing
T - Time you woke up [today]: 8 something a.m. Good job snooze button.
U - Unknown fact about me: I feel people who read this would already know me well enough.
V - Vegetable you hate: George Bush.
W - Worst habit(s): I spend money like its going out of style because I just don't care sometimes and feel life should be enjoyed and what else is money for if not to be spent.
X - X-rays you've had: Chest, shoulder, arm, uhhh head
Y - Yummy food: Sushi from Hey Sushi! , Beef Chow Fun from Chinatown, Pizza from Gino's and who can forget... Hot Pigga!
Z - Zodiac sign: Aquarius.. freakin water bearers.

Cuz It's All In My Head...

Work is owning me. Hard. But that's cool, least it's making me feel productive about myself and life in general. Still recovering from that whole being sick thing. I need some sleep, I can't think of what I wanted to say. Anyway.. here is my bastard action of the day.. enjoy these lyrics and good luck not letting it stick in your head 24/7 for the next several days.

---

Nelly - Over and Over

chorus
Cuz its all in my head
I think about it
over and over again
and i can't keep picturin' you with him
and it hurts so bad
yeah

Cuz its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
and I can't take it and I can't shake it no...

verse 1 (Nelly)
I cant wait to see you
wanna see if u still got that look in ur eye
that one u had for me before we said our goodbyes
and its shame
that we gotta spend our time being mad about the same things
over and over again, about the same things, over and over again
oh, but i think shes leaving, oh man, shes leaving
I dont know what else to do, (Tim Mcgraw)i cant go on not loving you

chorus
cuz its all in my head
i think about it
over and over again
and i can't keep picturin' you with him
and it hurts so bad
yeah

Cuz its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
and I can't take it and I can't shake it no...

verse 2 (Nelly)
I remember that day u left
I remember the last breath u took right in front of me
when u said that u would leave
I was too damn stuborn to try to stop u or say anything
but I see it clearly now
and this choice that I made keeps playin in my head
over and over again, playin in my head, over and over again
oh I think shes leavin, oh man, shes leaving...
i dont know what else to do,
(Tim Mcgraw)
I cant go on not loving you

chorus
Cuz its all in my head
I think about it
over and over again
and I can't keep picturin' you with him
and it hurts so bad
yeah

cuz its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
and I can't take it and I can't shake it no...

(Nelly)
now that i realize that im goin down
from all this pain youve put me through
(Tim McGraw)
everytime i close my eyes
I lock it down... ohhh I cant go on not loving you

chorus x2
Cuz its all in my head
I think about it
over and over again
and I can't keep picturin' you with him
and it hurts so bad
yeah

Cuz its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
and I can't take it and I can't shake it no...

over and over again
over and over again

cuz its all in my head...............

Where have I been?

Peace up, A Town.. yo airport sucks! Last Monday night I left for Atlanta. And let me tell you.. it was a freaking miserable experience. I went down there for a training class for work, unfortunately I woke up sick Sunday Morning. So while I was down there things just got worse.

So let's recap my highlites of the trip.

1. I get to the airport after fevering ( yes the act of having a fever ) and go to get my rental car that the travel agency for work had reserved for me. Now at this point I'm three shades of messed up so I'm wandering around in a cold swear lugging my bags around through rows or car rental places. I end up going to Enterprise who can't seem to find my reservation.. so whatever I setup something with them and get a car. As I was walking away I realized that my reservation was with National Car Rental.. so I went back there and they're like yes, we have your reservation.. then.. they asked from my driver's license.. I give it to them.. BAM.. "I'm sorry sir do you have a valid driver's license?" I'm like what?? .. Apparently mine expired 2-15-2004 and I just never noticed... freaking awesome. Luckily when I had stopped at Enterprise they didn't catch that either.. so I cancelled my reservation with National and went to Enterprise.

2. The Car Rental. So I get to Enterprise's lot.. they say ok you get this silver neon. I'm like sure whatever. This blonde chick in a pink coat walks me out to it then she's like.. huh.. I don't have the keys I guess this got rented out. She asks if I want to take a pickup truck or a minivan instead for no upgrade charge. I look at her and I'm like.. how bout no. So she finds me another car this crappy red ford focus and does the walk around of the car with me. She says wow looks like the car wash didnt do a good job. Not until miles down the road did i realize, they hadn't cleaned the inside either let alone filled the gas tank.. unreal.

3. The Hotel. Stayed at the Marriot downtown Atlanta. Walking in, it was a pimp lobby I can't complain. Sadly.. this was far from where I had to go for the training classes. Apparently the name 'Peachtree' is popular in the Atlanta area. And instead of staying at the Courtyard by Marriot on Peachtree/Dunwoody, I stayed at the Marriot on Peachtree... sigh. So each morning I had to drive 30 mins each way to get from the hotel to the building the class was in.. whatever.

4. So that first night I didn't get in until around 11pm or so. After getting settled I realized I was freaking hungry. The only place open in the hotel was this bar/grill place. So I went down there and ordered a philly cheese steak to go. Lord knows why it took them almost 40 minutes just to give me a sammich!

5. So.. Day 1 of the class. I go out for lunch. Need to stop at a Walgreens to pick up some stuff. Was all drugged up on cold medicine.. was on the phone with Haruka.. and yeah.. got out of the car locked it closed the door. Took two steps.. SHIT... keys in ignition.. doors all locked.. engine running. This is the "Ohmigod I'm a freaking tool moment". So I call Enterprise, who calls Triple A and they tell me 90 minutes... I had 30 minutes left on my lunch break.. sigh.. so I call the training company and was like.. yes.. i locked my keys in the car.. the instructor said "Bless your heart" and I about cried hehe. So I waited outside in the cold for over an hour and a half sitting against the wall of a Walgreens with my box of Kleenez and my bag of Dorritos I bought for lunch. There wasn't much choice on lunch at Walgreens.. if you ever looked at the sandwiches they have.. you'd agree. So dude finally gets there.. takes 2 minutes, unlocks the door and I get back to class.. late.

6. The night of Day 1, I spent in bed shivering and all that.. fevering again. So much for seeing the sights and taking advantage of the nice hotel eh?

7. Blah blah blah its hard as hell to sit at the computer right now. So last night I got back from Atlanta. At the airport.. my cellphone dies. Figures. Panda Thug was picking me up from the airport but we had issues trying to find eachother. I'd tried calling Haruka from payphones and relaying messages and going back and forth.. awesome. Anyway.. when PT picked me up.. I was like.. dude.. we need to stop at the ER.

8. The ER. Whoever decided people should pay *more* for going to the ER is an ASSHOLE.. yes.. asshole. I don't know how long I had to wait to see a doctor but damn.. it was a long time. When I was getting X-Rays of my chest.. this old dude was doing it. And man.. sometimes you just want to ask people why they haven't retired yet. He's using this touch screen on the X-Ray machine and for the life of him couldn't figure it out. I must have sat there in a dazed fever induced silence watched him go through the same screens over and over.. sigh. So around 1AM, four hours after I get there.. the doctor tells me I have pneumonia.. gives me antibiotics and tylenol and says no work for you! ...

Wow.. I feel like crap I'll post more later.

- D -

PS Look forward to talking to yall when I can

Destiny and Fate?

Being an Aquarius, I can't say I'm totally surprised with the results of this.
--
From Intrinsecus:

Take this test

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Check here for a better description of your results

http://www.personalitypage.com/portraits.html

---

My results:

http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ.html

Intrinsecus is borderline ENTJ and ENTP. Crap. That means I have to go get him a latte if he asks me for one. Boooooooo hehe
--

ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers
ESTJ - The Guardians
ISFJ - The Nurturers
ESFJ - The Caregivers
ISTP - The Mechanics
ESTP - The Doers
ESFP - The Performers
ISFP - The Artists
ENTJ - The Executives
INTJ - The Scientists
ENTP - The Visionaries
INTP - The Thinkers
ENFJ - The Givers
INFJ - The Protectors
ENFP - The Inspirers
INFP - The Idealists


Sigh. Awesome.

I think you have my stapler...

So yes.. here's a minute out of the day in my life. I'm sitting here at work and I clicked my stapler and was playing with a staple. I bent it a bit and it looks like a spaceship or fighter craft of some kind to me. So naturally, I click more staples and bend more thus creating a squadron of staple fighters. I put them in in a V formation being that there's five of them. Then I think.. huh they need someone to fight with.. click click click click. Ah ha! Four more staple fighters in a diamond formation approaching quickly from the east! Then I think ohh I wonder what other flight formations there are so Yahoo! search it is.. flight formations = first couple hits are about UFO flight formations... well ok so ten or fifteen minutes reading about UFOs goes by then I'm like crap I should work more.. then I'm like crap I can't put my arm here to use my mouse because my staple fighter squadrons are in the way. *sigh* You see what I have to deal with at work sometimes?

This morning was nice. I'm crashing at Joan's while I watch 'the kids'. I woke up this morning and they were cute all fuzzy and sleeping on me... er yes.. by kids I mean two cats for all you sickos out there.

Friday was kind of.. there.. this weekend was also kind of there. I didn't do shit. No seriously. Not a damn thing. I think I watched tivo, played some warcraft and randomly ate and used the washroom. Yes. I am a winner. Hum.. Haruka moves in next Sunday so I suppose weekends like that won't happen very often.

Ah crap.. I need to file my taxes soon, I need money.

Uhhhh ok my staple fighters and I are going to get back to work now.

Hopefully the rest of the week won't be a 'Stabbing Westward' kind of week like Friday and the weekend was, eh?
----

So Wrong - Stabbing Westward

Wasted thoughts of you
Useless prayers to you
Give me back my mind
I'm empty inside

What have I become?
Everything's undone
A candle burns here in your honor
My soul, a shrine I've built for you
I've got nothing left inside me
Nothing left inside but you

Can't seem to pretend
This night has to end
I can't fill this hole
You are all I know

It's so wrong that I need you
It's so wrong that I need abuse
It's so wrong that I need you
So wrong that I'm scared I'll die alone

Analyze THIS!

"Finally, Counter-Strike players resemble a youth subculture (Hebdige 1979, 1988; Thornton 1996) that can enter "liminoid" or liminal-like genre that promotes a temporary "limbo" of statuslessness, flow and movement (Turner 1982), a refashioning of time and community (Bruckman 1996; Bryce and Rutter 2000). This creative re-shaping of everyday life through play is an example of what Brian Sutton-Smith describes when he speaks of play and games as "anti-structural" occasions for "experimentation with variable repertoires" and "making free with a given social heritage." Sutton-Smith notes that "we may be disorderly in games either because we have an overdose of order, and want to let off steam, or because we have something to learn through being disorderly (1972)."

... ya know.. what happened to.. I like to play games and own people? I think society tries to over analyze things sometimes. Here let me anaylyze this and show you what I mean.

When things like Columbine and all that happened.. people blamed video games.. violence in movies and tv whatever.. did anyone once stop to consider.. damn maybe those kids were straight dumbasses? I hate to be the bearer of the bad news but yes.. there are sometimes just straight crazy people in the world and people who just should not have been allowed to live at birth. If the human race had it like some of the animals of the world, not everyone would have made it. Think about the little sea turtles. They hatch, then they have to run like Forest Gump to the water before getting picked off by birds and other random predators. Man. Now THAT'S stress and at such a young age. It's not like they're jacked into the Matrix while in their eggs learning kung-fu and the ways of the ninja.

So yeah.. that's all I got for right now.

Holla.

Oh. And the spellcheck for blogspot sucks. How does it not know what a NINJA is??

Simple and Clean

Meh. Work has been sucking. I'm hopeful that after the new position starts on Feb 1st things will get better. This weekend I did absopositively.. nothing. Played some Warcraft, watched some sci-fi , watched some anime and sat on my futon. Ok I suppose I did four loads of laundry.. course I still need to fold it all since my clean clothes slept on the bed last night while I in fact slept on the futon. It's all good though, it's nice to have a mental health weekend like that. Sides it's HELLA cold out.. I mean seriously right now its 10.. yes.. 1-0 Ten. With the windchill it feels like -5. Awesome.

One of the reasons I feel it's a good thing that Haruka went back to SF for a little bit is because it makes me realize that yes.. I do in fact miss her alot. She's been stressing and frustrated by the lack of help by her local peeps. Slackers. All of them. Sorry I can't be there to help with all that Haruka :(

Meh.. I need to go grocery shopping. I think my fridge has a half empty bottle of Evian in it and maybe some Eggo Waffles.

On a funnier note.. let's see how I do in the gym today after only 4 hours of sleep last night haha..

Oh and if you haven't watched Battlestar Galactica.. go watch it now! Hell if you've watched it, go watch it again! It's so great.. makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

- D -


Song of the day goes to Haruka
----
* When you walk away
You don't hear me say please
Oh baby, don't go
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight
It's hard to let it go

You're giving me too many things
Lately you're all I need
You smiled at me and said,

Don't get me wrong I love you
But does that mean I have to meet your father?
When we are older you'll understand
What I meant when I said "No,
I don't think life is quite that simple"

Repeat *

The daily things that keep us all busy
Are confusing me
That's when you came to me and said,

Wish I could prove I love you
But does that mean I have to walk on water?
When we are older you'll understand
It's enough when I say so
And maybe some things are that simple

repeat *

** Hold me
Whatever lies beyond this morning
Is a little later on
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all
Nothing's like before

WOO HOO! Why Sci-Fi ?

Ok. Haruka's back in SF right now packing. My apartment is reasonably clean. So that means it's gaming / anime / sci-fi time!

And and and and Battlestar Galactica, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Andromeda = all new episodes! GEEKS and DORKS round the world are crying out in happiness heheh. Now it's not like that's the only thing I watch but hey, I like it, so there.

Haruka borrowed Evangelion from me and has been watching that. Now to buy Raxhephon so she can watch where her namesake is from.

I came into work late today. I guess last night I set my alarm clock and all but I failed to actually turn it on. Good job Dhavid. Awesome.

I'll post more later trying to stay under the radar at work today.

- D -

Nani ?

First off I'd like to say that all yall's blogs that I read.. update already. I understand the holidays and all but cmon now people it's already 1/11/2005. So let's see where to start.

I got the position I was going for at work. This is a good thing as I knew exactly who I was going up against for it and had one of the other candidates gotten it, I feel I'd have to go drown myself in a bucket of flan. Why a bucket of flan you say? Well because if I changed my mind about drowning myself I could at least enjoy a tasty treat. As of February 1st the new title will be "Knowledge Management Specialist" .... hahahahha.. I manage knowledge.. awesome. During one of my interviews this girl was like.. "Wow I was hoping to have stumped you with one of these questions." My reply ? " Ask me a math question. " Luckily she did not in fact ask me a math question else I would have had to carry the one and myself, out of her office, instead she laughed =)

Ok so I know other people have had to of run into this.. have you ever met someone that looks EXACTLY like someone else you know? Let alone someone you know when they get older or when they were younger? That girl I mentioned I interviewed with I swear looks like Tallulah.. or at least how she would look in 5 to 10 years. I tell Tallulah this and she's like.. Dhavid you think everyone looks like me.. DOH! That's so not true. *grump*

On to the Haruka update. Haruka came back to Chicago for New Years and went back to SF yesterday. Right now the plan is she's going to move here at the end of the month and stay at my place until she gets a new job, is stable and has some cash saved up for her own place. Then after that she'll get her own place for maybe a year. From there on we'll see how it goes but so far I'm hopeful. My place is just way to small for me let alone for two people and maybe a cat or two.

Haruka , Intrinsecus and I went bowling before she left. Man. I'll admit she beat me at Air Hockey. But I blame the table and maintain that if it's a videogame, I will in fact own her!. Bowling wise those two were playing in their own game while I'd randomly be like look! A strike! I don't in fact suck!

Ooohhhh I get to play some Warcraft again.. WOOT! :P

And yeah. That's all I got. I still have to give Joan her Xmas gift. Not bad it's not like its almost mid January.. oh wait.. doh!

Somebody Told Me

You had a boyfriend
Who looks like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
I've got potential
A rushin', a rushin' around
----

Yup that song's playing in the background right now. Got a pretty big interview tomorrow for a different position at work. Could be good and would be a raise so cross your fingers for me.

First thing's first.. Happy New Years 2005!

Been a little off lately. No really sure why. Just am. Been back and forth to the various suburbs way to much this past week. I've gone through like THREE full tanks of gas already. *groan* .

I don't think I ask for much in life. Give me an internet connection, video games, anime and sci fi on a big TV and I'm good to go. Some purring kittens laying on my lap sleeping or a good loyal dog lay on the floor next to the couch would be nice to.

My head hurts. I'm hungry. I need to go work out and beat the punching bag to a not so bloody pulp.

Waa.

- D -

Disaster Recovery

Wow.. you would think it wouldn't be so hard to volunteer to go overseas to help with victims of the Tsunami disasater but well.. it is. All of the relief organizations are like.. donate money! donate money! and I'm just like.. I got no money I'm trying to donate myself you slackers.

I should probably get my passport updated...

New Year's

On a surpise note, Haruka is coming back to town and will be spending New Year's in Chicago. I feel this is a good thing ^_^ .

Tallulah flies back into town on Thursday after spending Xmas with her family and Haruka flies in on Friday so I'll be going back and forth to the airport like my name was Kato.

Also..

Also I wanted to say my thoughts and my prayers are with those who suffered losses in the tsunami that hit in southeast Asia. My dad may be a jackass and all, but I still hope he's ok since he's over there somewhere.

- D -

The Needs of The Few or The One

On a sidenote, after writing the last post I want to watch more sci-fi / anime and play some more World of Warcraft.. ahhhhhh

- D -

The Needs of the Many

So Happy Christmas all and all that. Things went pretty well I guess. I've been sick the past week or so and my aunts who are nurses gave me some antibiotics for it. It's interesting that the antibiotics they gave me were Z-Pak which is used for... ear infections. Pneumonia, and well STD's. So... today I'm feeling ear infection free AND I wouldn't have to worry about the clap if I had it. Good job. I spent X-Mas Eve with my bro Panda Thug. We went to Chinatown at around 2am for dinner. He was supposed to go to his cousin's place but he said he wanted to spend some time with me on Xmas Eve, that meant alot to me, thanks bro. Xmas Day itself I spent celebrating in the traditional Jewish Xmas tradition. Chinese food and a movie. Yes.
Yesterday ,,; and I went to Joan's parents' place for dinner. It was nice, can I just say I LOVE her niece and nephew? I got her nephew a pimp fps controller for X-Box which is made for games like Halo 2. He liked it =) And I got her niece a How to Draw Manga book. She draws me pictures, I put them up at work and at home. I can only hope when I have kids someday they turn out like those two =) Thanks to Joan for inviting ,,; and to her parents and family for being so great.

Haruka came and went and now it's possible she may be coming back to stay. There's a lot to think about right there. What am I going to do when my bachelor lifestyle is interrupted! Ahhhh .. oh wait.. I'd be better off what am I talking about. Oh and as an afterthought to my previous post where I changed DH to Haruka, Joan was like what the hell are you talking about I don't have anyone named DH on my blog. So apparently I am just a tool =) Ah well, I like using the name Haruka better anyway.

Ok. So here's my deep thoughts that I've been meaning to post. It seems around the holidays there's more thoughts about religion and life and such. I was raised Catholic (kind of). My parents are both Buddhists, but they sent my older sister and I to Catholic school because they figured it was a better education. Boy were they wrong haha.. to late for a refund *ahem*, anyway so this is my take on life and death. -- I believe that life is all about a journey, a soul's journey. In that journey it's all about learning things. In each time a soul is born and reincarnated, they learn more or work on faults they may have had in a previous life. This accounts to why there are assholes in the world. More than likely they are younger angrier souls who need to go around a couple more times still. That's all very Buddhist in thought but here's the key thing I want to say. In every lifetime you are surrounded with people you know, or knew in a previous lifetime. These kindred spirits that journey with you take on different relationships. For example at one point, this person could have been a friend of mine, a sister, a brother, a mother or a father etc. Titles are not as important as the true meaning of a relationship. I call some of my close friends my brothers because to me, they really are my brothers. It's no one's responsibility but our own to seek out these souls that we already share a bond with in each life time and make sure they are a part of your life again.

Deepest thanks to the people I love and are dear to me in each lifetime.

- D -

Kamehameha !

So its occurred to me that Joan uses DH as one of her designations and that I'm using Devil Hunter for one. They are in fact not the same person. In fact if you ask what DH stands for she has a semi amusing story about where that name originated hehe. Hmm I suppose to avoid confusion though Devil Hunter will be renamed to Haruka which is the name of one of the main characters from the anime Rahxephon. I would rename her to Sakura, but over the years I've associated that name with Tallulah, ask her about her Sakura doll I got her years ago hehe.

I think alot of everything and nothing has been going on lately. Saw The Incredibles last night, I have to say the guy who wrote it must have watched alot of Bond movies and sci fi while indulging in comic books as a kid. Overall though, it's pretty great and probably my fav Pixar flick to date.

I'm sooooo slacking right now at work. My boss is out of town for three weeks so I'm just kinda like screw you! while posting on my blog instead of ya know, being productive and all that. I've definitely been playing to much DragonBall Z Boudaki 3for PS2. It's actually the best DBZ fighting game they've made so far hehe.

Let's see so what's coming up..

Having dinner tonight with Tallulah, yay for that =)

Saturday I'm going with Joan to celebrate her Mom's birthday at a fancy country club dealy... glad my suit's still clean from the wedding last week doh!

Sunday.. Haruka is coming to visit for a bit, after that is anyone's guess. Fear the possibility of going to sing Karaoke. I blame Evil Ed for that.

Oh oh and I'm taking the week of December 5th off of work. WOO HOO! It's like an early Xmas gift !

"What we do in life, echoes an eternity" - Maximus, Gladiator

Kawaii Na

Wow.. busy past couple of days. At home now been hanging out for a little bit. It's 3:43am right now. Just got done talking with one of the lil bros. 'Panda Thug' is on his way over. We're gonna go hang tomorrow and go to Mitsuwa for lunch and instead of coming out tomorrow he's just going to drive out tonight. Ok let's recap the past couple of days.

Thanksgiving Day - I spent with Joan and her family. Thanks to her and her parents for letting me latch on and for feeding me, hell I still have leftovers.. mmmm.. punkin pie.. yes punkin.

Tallulah and her bf are out of town so that means I've been watching my God Kitties. They're so cute all like FEED ME when I go over to her place hehe.. course then they lay on their backs and are like GIVE ME ATTENTION! So after 45minutes of petting the cats I can go hehe.

Today er well Friday ( technically it's still Friday since I haven't gone to sleep yet ), I went to a co worker/friend's wedding. It was a straight up traditional Chinese Buddhist wedding. It's always interesting to see people being married from different cultures, though in the end the same message is there. Love one another. One of the things the uhhhh reverend guy said was "Marriage does not mean two people become one, rather they still remain two separate individuals that come together in love and love eachother for their differences." Damn.. sniff.. ok I'm better now. The ceremony was actually pretty short. Alot of bell ringing in the beginning (hard to explain) and only about 25 minutes or so of actual talking and vows etc. The reception was pretty fun actually. Work had three tables of people so about maybe 15 or so of us.. leaving the other uhh 350+ people to family and relatives or random Chinese people that wanted a free dinner.. ohmigod I didn't mention.. the dinner was an 11 Course Meal!!! WTF?! 11 courses?! Hell that's more than the number of classes I take per quarter in school. But everything was hella good. Yes I said hella.

I've been talking with Devil Hunter alot lately and I think it's starting to rub off on me.. soon I'll be all West Coast and saying 'hella' and 'hekka' ahhhh noooooo :P She told me she's going to teach me Japanese someday.. that'll be neat, then I can watch anime without subtitles and actually KNOW what they're saying! hehe. Yes.. I'm easily amused I know.

Taking the month of December off of school. They offer a December term which is just the month of December. Classes run 2 days a week and only give 1 credit. Quick thing but I decided to relax and go to Winter Quarter starting in January. Gotta remember to register for that on Monday. Man. School pwns me.

Been gaming a bit again lately just because I've actually had time to breathe and well hey it's cheaper than going out to the bars and all that. List of games I've been playing or have beaten recently;

Halo 2 (Xbox)
Counterstrike:source (PC)
Half Life 2 (PC)
Dead or Alive:ultimate (XBox)
Def Jam Fight for New York (PS2)

So many games.. so little time and money ahhhhhh.

Wow.. hella long post huh? Yes.. I think it is.. ok lil bro should be here soon. Ending this with a lovely phrase.

Anata wa haru ichiban no sakura no yoni utsukushii.

Gobble Gobble?!

What up ,

So today was the first day of snow in Chicago for this winter season. It's official and I've broken out jacket's bigger warmer self. Lets see three things of note before I head out into the cold to go to school to register for next quarter...

1. First and foremost, Congrats to 'Tallulah Fondue' on being invited to be a company member for a very sweet theatre group in Chicago. Never had a doubt, they were just taking their sweet time is all T =)

2. Intro for 'Devil Hunter' in San Fran. Apparently we're going to go to Japan and conveniently... she speaks Japanese! Sounds like a plan. I'll bring my Nikon and be all like what.. you all do it when you come to the states, stick my tongue out and blow fifty rolls of film =) Of course with DH being a girl.. I don't know if she'll translate " Hoy, where can we go to eat Sushi off of naked chicks?" correctly for me. Here's hoping that it'll happen and we can jet away to the land of the rising sun hmm?

3. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Most of you know as far as holidays go I only have two words. "Man screw that." Did I mention I was never good at math? For reals though everyone enjoy and be safe, and holla at me to come help with leftovers muhahaha.

Think I'm going to take a tip from 'Donovan' and start posting something at the end of my posts. He uses quotes and ya know.. deep things. Me? More song lyrics ahhhhh!

Tallulah this is for you:

Encore - Jay Z

"Now can I get an encore, do you want more
Cookin raw with the Brooklyn boy
So for one last time I need y'all to roar

Now what the hell are you waitin for
After me, there shall be no more
So for one last time, nigga make some noise"

Growly

Dumb blogger.com has been freaking out the past couple of times I've tried posting and subsequently has caused me to lose several posts.. lame.

Sooo I had a bunch of stuff I had wanted to post but now since I've slept since then I don't remember what it was.

Meh. Either way. Happy Birthday today ' M '.

Almost over

Finals are almost over.. then I get a couple weeks off.. then a class for just the month of December.. then January the next quarter starts.. I should prolly go register for classes or something..

Boooooo Hsssss

Finals... finals are owning me.. that and my elite slacker nature that makes me not want to work on them.. I just want to sleep. Sleep... and purr.. and sleep some more. Then I'd like to make waffles!.

Trick or Treat?

Been listening to alot of music lately. Putting together some new compilations and such. I was a DJ in another lifetime I feel. The grey crappy Portland like weather hasn't helped things. Meh.

Earlier tonight carved a pumpkin and I have to say it turned out pretty badass. Now I just need some glowsticks for it.. GLOWSTICKS!!!

So this is one of the songs that's been bugging me as of late.

Somebody' - Depeche Mode ( Though been listening to the Veruca Salt cover )
I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinkingIn fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
--

Tomorrow I have a class to review finals.. groan.. then I'm supposed to run to the zoo and help with this thing I volunteered for to give candy to kids etc.. it's going to be a long morning.. and a longer afternoon.. holla back.

It's never easy

Hmm.. so as of late, well ok for the past couple of years, I've been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Working in IT is good for the money but quite honestly it's pretty useless in the big picture of things. If I could I dunno.. work in the Peace Corps and make the same money I do now, that would be pretty sweet. On a silly note, in order to go volunteer for something like that, you have to raise a certain amount of money to go. Now that makes no sense to me. It's like.. hi, I'm willing to give up all my creature comforts, all my choco berry lattes, whatever to go help people.. yet I have to raise an assload of money in order to do so? Good job there. I just want to do something... worthy.

Only 7 more months or so in my lease for my overpriced one bedroom apartment. Can't wait till it's up then I can go get a 2 bedroom or a condo somewhere else for the same amount I'm paying now or less even.

I have all this stuff in life planned.. well not 'all' but a bunch of things. Like.. I know where I want to get married at (kind of)... I know one day I want a daughter and what her name will be, though I'd want a son to I'm sure.

There's a friend of mine I hung out with not to long ago. It gave me great comfort to know that there are still some people in this world that are 'real' . Real meaning.. I dunno.. some people just can give you that sense of Hi.. here I am, this is me and then smile at you.

Yeah. " I got nothin. "

So You Want To Be a Ninja

I've been told it's a good thing but at the same time I have to think there are some issues in my psyche to cause this. The majority of the time when I am awake and coherent, I always assess a situation and come up with possible scenarios. Such as.. I enter a room and there's two people in the room. I look at them, size them up and think.. ok.. if I had to fight what could I use as a weapon, how would the fight go etc. On the flipside, I also have to observe my surroundings to try and make sure that there is always an escape route. It's just this natural instinct in me that tells me.. hey.. be ready to fight.. you don't know what could happen.

Last of the Lakotas

Man.. for no real reason or at least all the wrong reasons I've had that line from Last of the Mohicans in my head where dude was all like ," Wherever you go, I WILL Find you!" I mean damn.. that's hard core.

I watched this anime over the weekend, well the movie version of it anyway. I watched the actual 7 DVD series version a couple months ago. And the writing in it is actually really good. If you ever get the chance I HIGHLY recommend this series called Rahxephon. Aside from the fighting and the action.. its funny and what it boils down to.. a love story. Watch it, you'll see what I mean. Just damn.

I haven't gamed much as of late. Mostly because work and school have been owning my soul. It sucks actually but whatever. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up I guess.

Ohmigod Ohmigod Ohmigod

Bouncing off the walls.. running around the office pondering tackling anyone in the aisles.. AHHHH!!! OOF ! . Needless to say, I have a new love in life that rivals even the love I have for ' jacket ' . And that love is.... the 'Choco Berry' latte. Oh. My. God. It's sooooo good. Most coffee shops will have raspberry syrup they can add to coffee. So far I've had it from Caribou which uses white chocolate cocoa, espresso, steamed milk and raspberry and also from Starbucks which uses White Chocolate Mocha, steamed milk, espresso and raspberry syrup. Both of course have whip cream on top and quite possible an extra shot of espresso. I don't care if it sounds like a girly coffee drink or not.. ITS FREAKING GOOD ! Go get some! Do eeet! Do it now!

Sport Utility Assholes!

Ok sooo I've been sitting on this rant because I've been lazy pretty much but damn.. this is something that annoys me to no end ! Unless you go off roading on a daily basis or live I dunno.. maybe IN THE BURBS.. there is NO reason you should own or drive an SUV in a densely populated city ! Completely disregarding the whole environmental issues with SUVs I mean cmon.. big ass SUV + people who cannot parallel park = an angry Lakota. Grrrrrrrr. I came home and there was an SUV parked in the spot next to mine.. keep in mine these are paid spots for my apartment building and he doesn't live here... and his big ass truck is halfway in my spot... What's that ? There's a dent in your door? Why I have no idea how that got there!... tools.

Scars.. what was I thinking?

I have a scar on my wrist. Everytime I look at it I go.. what the hell was I thinking. I only talk about it randomly when people ask me how I got it. It's a rather impressive cut but it's not in the 'correct' direction if it were meant to be a suicide attempt. And no, I'd never do the whole suicide thing because that's just lame and a sign of weakness. I mean sure maybe if an army of zombies was coming at me and I knew they were going to eat my brains.. actually no, even then I'd still be like.. come get some you zombie bitches! Yeah ok.. later.

Anonymous...

So I received this comment about my current relationship with my favorite piece of clothing.

Anonymous said...
Quit goofing with your coat, goof :)

----

It made me laugh at the same time ponder the whole anonymous thing. It makes me start to think.. ohhh.. was it this person or that person or or or... yeah it goes on and on. Only one person I knew ever really said goof but I don't think I gave them this site.. or maybe I have I'm not to sure. Either way that has to be one of the most annoying things about my psyche is that I dwell to much on my past. All the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Is it from lack of closure ? Or is it simply feeling that maybe in another lifetime some things could have been very different...

Many years ago like.. almost ten I think, I wrote these words and had them on various notebooks or walls around.
------
If you can't let get of the past,
You can't live in the present,
And there is no future for you.
------
Funny how sometimes I can be really insightful yet I tend to not listen to myself very much. A friend of mine was saying they were worried about me. It's nice to be worried about I guess. At the same time, I'm just like pfft, there's nothing to worry about. I'm the one that people bring their problems to. I'm the one that listens and offers advice based purely on my own personal beliefs and experiences. By no means do I feel that the things I have to say should carry *that* much weight. Sometimes it's just nice to talk to see who will listen, and to lead to see who will follow.

I sometimes want to talk to a shrink, not because I feel I need to but I'm curious to see if I can outwit them. Maybe play a little 'Survivor' with prozac. There was an Ellen special that was like, "Do you feel sad... do you feel depressed" .. " Yeah I'm alive ! " If a doctor of any kind ever said, hey Dhavid.. I think you're depressed.. I think I'd be like.. oh yeah? Wanna pay off my credit cards for me, get me a better job, and take these college classes for me because I sure won't be depressed after that haha.. tools.

And yes, I am aware I've avoided specific pronouns but there's a certain calming charm to being vague sometimes, no? That whole... what or who is he talking about? When? Where? toyshm? ( no one knows what that means so don't bother guessing ).

The things we do..

I've always been a firm believer of paying attention to detail and remebering the things people say to you in conversations. You never know when a bit of information that could seem meaningless at the time, can be used to convey sincerity and thoughtfulness.

Trying to live life as 'the good guy' you realize over time that there are certain things you can and cannot do. I had a conversation with a friend of mine over the weekend who was having relationship issues. He wasn't sure really sure what he should do or what he wanted. In all honesty it was like speaking to myself when we were talking. Something he said kind of struck a chord in me though. It was something to the effect of "I want to do the right thing." To which I responded with.. "Sometimes it's not about what you feel is the right thing, but rather what you *want* to do." I'm not exactly sure if that was the best suggestion but I guess it is kind of true. I mean, you can only do so much for the other person before one day you're like.. huh..maybe I should do this or that for myself. And in no way should you feel 'selfish' if you do something for yourself once in awhile.

Man I started this, this morning and been to busy at work to finish it. I'll write more later.

Reasons...

Looks like the cold front has definitely made itself known in Chicago. Awesome. Kinda..
Because of the cold I of course am able to share my love freely...

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to knowI
've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you


I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over newand the reason is You
---

sniff.. I LOVE YOU.. -JACKET-
---

So yeah what else.. I'm going through the corporate version of 'Survivor' right now. Long story, needless to say lots of drama.. Anger.. rising... Unleash the Fury !

It's my lil bro's bday today! Happy B-day Donovan ! Er.. I guess he's 25 so that means he's not little anymore.. but still.. damn.

Oh and last night.. I had my 'Intro the Internet' class. All I can say is.. 1 day of hell for the next 8 weeks. Meh.. guess I'll be blogging at least once a week from there ohhhh good idea!